Don't talk. Act too!

Too many things happen in life that make you happy, sad, frustrated, helpless, emotional, dead and such else. All of us have a different way of venting our emotions out. Some write, some talk to friends, some cry, some party, watch movies. I travel. I take an auto, and travel on Mumbai road. It relaxes me just like a good vacation.

I have seen many people start a blog under anonymity hood, for writing helps them. They write whatever they go through or gone through. One of the topics I have been reading about a lot these days - Domestic Violence. There was one article posted on the outlook site about the same (let me know if you wish to read it, I will give you the link.). I don't want to post the link here as I don't think it's a genuine one. Again, it's my personal opinion. I somehow didn't believe the story completely. It sounds like a bit made up story. Maybe it's easy to judge, but as a lawyer, I have come across many cases of domestic violence. Females have suffered for years, still suffering but they cannot raise their voice due to society and family pressure/reputation.

I don't consider such women weak. They have their reasons to be quiet about what they are going through or were going through. They have their reasons even when they write about what they are going through. But when you start writing about such things anonymously, or when you just keep abusing the family and act like a true feminist but never leave the abusive husband - that's where you surprise me.

Law has so many provisions when a lady is in an abusive relationship. You don't only get divorce, but you are entitled to get a house too along with maintenance money. The court even directs the husband never to enter the premises of the building the wife stays in if the wife has any threats from him. Then why can't one move out when one can write about that and abuse the family?

No, I am not saying that they should keep quiet. But talking that doesn't help in any manner whatsoever doesn't help either. You are discouraging others that way! Many females will make you a role model too, if you don't realize that!

What can be done about it? - First thing is financial independence. Second thing is to take out the fear of loneliness and rejection. Love your own life and things will fall in place automatically. Take legal aid. Free consultancy is available on helplines. Leave me a line, my mail id is mentioned in my blogger profile. There are plenty of sites and blogs to help you. Take the help, don't just yell. Don't bark and abuse. That too anonymously. You are making others lose faith too!

And please don't ever lie about what you have gone through or going through to get readers or attention. Domestic Violence is not as simple to write as you do. The one who has been a victim won't probably be able to write down the complete truth about it. It is too difficult to deal with it. Too difficult to face it. And all the more difficult to reiterate the whole episode. And if you abuse the abusive family you live with, you are at fault too at some point.

It's alright to be a coward, it's alright to run away, it's alright to be vocal, it's alright to leave the hell behind; but it's not alright to fake it or abuse it when you don't want to leave it!