Sometimes, so many thoughts are running through your mind that you don't know where to begin from. Whether to blog, or save in drafts, or just tweet away, post status updates, save in mail draft, word file, write a diary, ponder, forget, cry, run away, accept, embrace, give up, fight back or simply ignore them. No matter how hard you try, they haunt you always. Our mind is that way.
Talking of mind, what do you think would be our mind? Heart is an organ, but mind? Where is it? Does it have a form? How come it controls us so much? How can it be an integral part of us and still remain non-existence in being?
Ah, too much of philosophy can kill me you know. My so called non-being mind is always so damn philosophical that I wonder - does it really stay somewhere within my personality? I have always been so carefree, or careless whatever you want to call me. The kind of thoughts I get when I am sad or low are damn scary to say the least.
Yes, the thought storm is at its peak at the moment. I don't say that I am sad or happy right now. I am just in a different mood. When you keep running in life, and suddenly lose all your strength just before the finish line because you are tired, mentally and physically. You want everything to stand still, but nothing does. You are stuck and trapped. Everything is moving but you. That is the worst feeling to have when you cannot afford to slow down in life. Nothing interests you, not even work you are in love with, to an extent that even your survival does not matter after some point.
But still you survive. And how! Hiding the tears, faking a laugh seem like childhood things to you when you stand there, still alive, right before the finishing line. It kills you each second, making you weaker by each moment, and that weakness makes you all the more stronger.
There is a turmoil in your heart. Or is it there in the mind? Or it's not there at all? Can an illusion create such an impact too by lurking around, making sure that you actually believe it to be true? Illusion is such an easy way out from this. But if only you could call it an illusion...
Just a little more push and then you'll be there-we control the mind just as much as it controls us:-)
ReplyDeleteA lone tree
ReplyDeleteupright,
resplendent and green
on a plateau.
Sometimes,
the complacency of growing
is knocked
by a life gale
blowing wild;
the same
comforting heights,
are now
a
one woman defense
against
the
gale force thrashing
in the innards,
lashings of branches,
falling leaves,
a few cracks,
and a shaken mind
in a storm.
And
When the wind
has died down,
the lone tree,
shakes itself,
sheds the remains
of the turmoil,
and faces life again,
stronger,
smarter,
and more at peace....
take a breath... :)
ReplyDeleteIllusion, I guess. Your mind can only think what you ask it to. It doesn't really have a mind of its own. :)
ReplyDeleteThis is not a silly post by any stretch (of imagination). Not that all these emotional states can be (or even 'ought to be') helped, but I think I have 'answers' to some of your questions, or perhaps you could also call them solutions. But explaining them would have to be in person, if such a prospect is ever to come. :)
ReplyDeleteTake care.
You are tired!! because you are sick and you dont want to consult a doctor!!!!
ReplyDeleteCant say what, but, something is worrying you.
ReplyDeleteTake a few days off,be with yourself.It might help
Neha,
ReplyDeleteRELAX. Very philosophical sayings. Mind, true, it is not an organ but state of one's thinking process for which brain is responsible. We all go through such phases when everything seems to be going the other way than us and we feel that the goal is withing grasp but our arms fall short. Best is to just RELAX. We all have our own ways of doing it. Some immerse in reading, some in movies, some in spirituality, some in partying, some go visiting relatives or go trekking in hills etc etc. You should choose what suits your own needs and takes your mind of such feelings.
Take care
PS : Caught up with all pending posts and left comments from OCD onwards.
Neha,
ReplyDeleteTry to give a different direction probably do something creative... it works in my case. You need to relax..calm down.. and again blossom..
God Bless
Oh my!! I am sooo much in sync with your thoughts!! I have learnt to Let Go... it's not easy but is certainly not impossible too.
ReplyDeleteTry it! Hugs and care!! :)