Philosophical Nostalgia

A year or two back, I remember writing a post on how boring philosophy is. And I had started that post with a super philosophical paragraph. I always thought it was beyond me and my feeble understanding. But life and time teach you so many things. It surprises me sometimes when I go from normal to philosophical effortlessly and in no time. It's not a big deal, really. All you have to do is talk some positive and intellectual shit using a few heavy words. Elaborate a simple sentence in a profound manner and dang - you are a philosopher. 

I meet so many people each day. Everyone has a different take on life before and after a few drinks. And it's amusing to hear about their stories. How sad/happy they are before drinking, and two pegs down how things change suddenly. How senselessly sensible they become, how they look at life and talk about it. If only they applied all those principles in life, they wouldn't be drinking with friends.

I guess it's to do with age as well. I remember discussing about girls, boyfriends, heartbreaks, crushes, movies and such else during college. Then came the time when we discussed about work pressure, performance, target, promotions, lay offs, career options, marriages, family etc. And now mid-life crisis has hit us so bad that each of our discussion revolves around life and fight to survive. All of us have some or the other problem, nobody is entirely happy in one's life.

We fight. We work. We slog our asses off just to be happy, and at the end of the day, are we really happy? If I talk about me, I don't have any social life as such. There were times when I met friends without any reason and whenever I felt like. Now, I have to think 10 times before making such leisure plans with them. We go to fancy restaurants, good multiplexes or a nice holiday destination, but none of the meetings take place outside college, on marine drive, checking wallet before planning a movie, eating in fancy restaurants only when we get some birthday treat - that time was happier.

And no, I am not unhappy. Maybe I miss the simple and less complicated life. I miss the carefree and responsibility free life. I miss those nonsense conversations about nothing. And I miss being happy without any reason. Just a good sunny day made me happy, finding a 100 Rs. note in old book or bag made me jump with joy, birthday preparation started with shopping almost a month in advance.

Looks like I got lost in the memory lane. Philosophy can turn into nostalgia too I believe.

Just another post

The biggest disadvantage of not having anything stored in your draft is that when you want to update your blog and don't know what to write about, you are stuck. Busy times are back again. Monsoon season is usually a relatively free time for us professional. I happened to discuss it with a friend who has his own firm too, and he pointed it out. When I see the trend for my firm as well, monsoon slows down the business. Weird it be, but it's true.

Everyone is aware about Mumbai monsoons. Because of that, lectures get canned too. I love to work all the time, but these days, I miss my free time when I can just spend some time with myself. Since I am good at multitasking, I talk to people while working. But I miss reading, and writing. I miss blogging - reading as well as writing. Some days, when I get a bit of free time, that time I don't feel like logging onto blogger and write something.

Ah I sound lost. Rather, I am too happy to care. Happy as I am finally writing something. Happy because finally I am so busy with work that I don't have time for anything. And this happens to be my birthday month too. I turn a year older.

I visited Goa last week. It was a fantastic trip. Very much rejuvenating and well deserved. I am right now at a time when I take a vacation when I need to. I want to take my next vacation when I want to. I can do that easily as I have my own practice. I have Pondicherry and Auroville on cards. Let's see when it materializes. 

That's about it for now. There are many things to write about on my mind, but I am not in mood to write about those. I shall be back soon, pretty soon!

Typo story

So many of my posts are a result of conversations I have with people around me. A few people I love to talk to are not in the same town as me. Thus the only contact point is messengers and/or e-mails. I remember those days when I used to share an e-mail thread of 100 + mails with a few people within a span of an hour. Yes, there is always an option of calling up, but e-mailing has its own charm. And no it's not boring or pathetic if you really love the person.

And so the story starts. Now, people around me are amazing, that goes without saying. But they are mere mortals after all. And they make a lot of mistakes while typing. A few mistakes can easily be overlooked, but when one makes more typos than the actual sentence, you can be sure that it is written by Guria.

Now a days, she blames it on auto-correct. Yeah yeah, I believe her. Her each typo is epic. It makes me laugh like crazy for sure. While she apologizes for the typo, she makes a couple of more of them. Ah, she is mad.

Funnier thing is, she makes typos even when she types out an emoticon. Every single time. She gets it right in third of fourth attempt. Just to cover it all up, she starts praising me as she knows that's the best way to embarrass me. Kids will be kids.

And now I know I shall be murdered for this post. But I solemnly swear that each word of this post is true. And it was long overdue as well as I had told her more than a month back that I'd blog about this. The busy me and lazy me never got to write this one.

And finally I take a break, after almost a year. After a very refreshing trip to MP last year, this year I go to another beautiful destination. I shall blog about it if I have the patience and interest, otherwise see you soon with yet another rant.

Beauty of thoughts

It's one of those days when you are itching to write something. Words are beautiful. They can express your heart, your mind, your soul. They have the power to hurt you, to make you smile. They have the power to possess you as well as to destroy you, they can make you and break you at the same time. They flow naturally sometimes; at the same time, they can make you chase them to find the correct ones.

Each one of us creates stories in mind. For every situation we face. Especially while sitting idle, while travelling. Even while reading, the mind wanders. It creates stories on paper, it writes them, and erases them. Each time, the mind creates a new world for you - a perfect one. Things work as they are written. There are no surprises, only happy instances. No sorrows, no pain, no grief. Just a happy journey lasting for a few moments. A scene you can die for, a moment you can wait for your entire life. It looks so beautiful, surreal and pure, perfect beyond any perfectness.

Words have magic. Words have feelings. They can breathe. They have a heart that beats. You can hear them breathing if you listen to them carefully. You can feel them casting their spell on you. You can't help but fall in love with this magic. There is an invisible cord that pulls you closer each time you read and feel them.

Have you ever felt the words? Reading a book for the first time, and reading the same one 10th or 20th time - the feeling is different. Each word feels like a verse on those tattered yellow pages. The fading title resonates with your own life. This be the same book that grew up with you and grew old with you. Its pale skin reminds you of its loyalty towards you. It is almost worn out, but it has retained its magic as yet. Howard Roark is still the guy you desire and you have a passion for, John Galt is still a mystery which is too good to be true. Atticus Finch is the hero we need right now.

These books talk to you. They answer your questions. They become your companion in loneliness. They absorb your tears and don't complain. They love you back - more than you love them. They stay locked for months and years, see you getting close to other books. They age in depression. You can smell their sadness when you open them, you can see the patches of their dried tears on the otherwise crisp white paper. They have lost their youth behind waiting for you, but still embrace you without complaining.

They stare at you when you are lost in your scotch and forget to acknowledge them. They stay close to your heart when you hug the sleep, they will fall hard on the floor and don't move until you pick them up and lock them once again. They keep ageing, tattering, shedding tears, waiting for you to acknowledge them.

It's all about words at the end. Words written on them complete them. Words written by you in your mind define you. Each time you write a line, you change. And your words accept you. It's a power to create this world in your mind. It's a power to create such thoughts. And this power is addictive. It takes you everywhere and nowhere at the same time.

And this power is beautiful..

Why judge?

This blog-world always manages to amuse me. When you are good friends with bloggers, and talk to them more or less on regular basis, and you are girls, then stories are bound to be discussed. If you have been blogging for more than a year, you tend to develop a bond with your readers. You may communicate with them through other mediums like mails, chats, facebook and such else.

I have a few friends too whom I met through blogging, but I talk to them even outside the blogs, more or less on regular basis. And we discuss about various things. One of such topics was about the blog content. I have a personal blog, so do most of the people I follow. Though rarely, but we do discuss blogs, especially when we have a post that's inspired by some conversation or comments.

One such discussion I'd had with a blogger friend about her style of blogging. Someone told her that she came across as a very different person from what she really is in real life. Well, it was a bit surprising to hear it as people have so much time to analyze posts and compare the real you and the blogger you!

Talking about me, even though I have a personal blog and I am honest about what I write here, I may not always write about my feelings for that particular subject matter, I am sure most of us don't do that. Thus judging a person from blogpost is not too accurate.

A person may write all sober stuff on blog, but in real life his/her sentence may not be starting without any abuse. A rude person on blog would actually be very humble and vice versa. And common, unless you want to settle down with that person, why would you bother about how that person writes/sounds on his/blog?

These social networking sites have spoilt us. We take them way too seriously. I was one of them too. Such things really mattered to me earlier. I took the social networking sites way too seriously. It really mattered to me what people did and what was happening in their lives. I have come out of that stage now. I don't even know what I have on my profile. I have disabled all e-mail notifications. I don't even know these days how many comments are there on each my post. 5 on an average per post? Or maybe less. I do get a lot of page views even today. And followers keep increasing too, but no comments as I don't read them. Don't I miss that?

Another discussion I'd had was about typos. I know so many people who make at least 3 typos per sentence. Some of these typos are classic. Some of them are a result of auto-correct too. This typo story deserves a separate post. Until then, STOP JUDGING!

I blog because..

It has been around 2.5 years since I started blogging. In such a short time, I can proudly say that I have experienced almost all kinds of pleasures/pains you can think of in respect of blogging. I have met people, made friends, and enemies, I have blogged about people, I have been blogged about a few times, took part in a couple of competition and didn't win, changed blog templates, left comments on other blogs, won and gave blog awards and what not. It's an endless list. When I think about those days, I always feel good. How people took pain to read you every time, link your blog while giving away an award, acknowledged you, wrote about you and your blog.

And I used to write so well! Whenever I read any post written a year before, rather before say May-June 2010, each one is nice. Different subjects, variety of topics, variation in the style and language, flow of the post - everything was so good. No, I have never been a brilliant writer, not even above average; but blogging is all about expressing and if you can do that effortlessly, you are a good blogger.

But not many people think the way I do. I happened to meet someone recently who had a very strong opinion about blogging. According to that person, ranting or blogging about personal life is a waste of blogging. One must put one's writing skills to a good use. Well, I obviously disagreed as I only rant these days. It's been so long since I have written about people or observation. I like ranting. There is a disadvantage too. One year down, i won't be able to say that I wrote well a year ago; but that's ok. And I do call this blogging too sir even if you write me off as a blogger/writer.

Apart from ranting, I get the strong urge to write on legal topics. There are so many things people are not aware about, and they should know. But I lack patience. I deal with law books all day. Blogging is a vent out zone for me. If I see a lot of legal gyaan here too, then I will have to abandon my own blog. 

And I blog when I am extremely happy, or extremely sad, or extremely angry, or extremely stressed out. I cannot blog in normal mood. I prefer to do my work, or I talk to people, or I simply chill out.

I love to talk. I love to talk about things around me, people around me, me and such else. I cannot be fake here. No pseudonymous identity for me, no happy face when I am sad, no praising when I don't like you. I don't advertise my life here, but I don't make up things too, just to blog. And I love to write about such non-sense without being concerned about anybody or being judged. It feels so nice when this crap is out of your system.

I blog because I love to.

I wish I was dumb

Well, you have got to be dumb if you want to connect to most of the people around you. When I say that I wish I was dumb, I certainly think that I am smarter than most of the people around me. Or, let me put it this way - most people around me think that I am dumb. Well, this happens to be a general perception about girls as people think that girls don't have brains, they can only crib and nag, shop, make guys spend money on them. Well, it's true to an extent, but you cannot judge everyone on the basis of this perception right?

Before you decide to leave this post thinking I am turning all feminist, or start cussing the male species around and all set to leave a heated comment, wait. I am not going to do either of these. I am a feminist, but I love men. I respect them and can't think of a life without them. And I will keep loving them even if they are the ones who think I am dumb.

Coming back to the topic, which happened pretty early this time around - only two paragraphs of non-sense rants and I am back to the header. How many times have you faced a situation when people think that they can take you for a ride and lie to you about various things thinking you will never find out the truth? I am not trying to be sexist here, I am sure even men would be facing such situations, but right now I am talking about such situations faced by a few friends and even me.

One day, a friend and I were discussing about our relationships. Now, when two girls meet, a lot of bitching is bound to happen. And it's fun too sometimes, just to clear your mind and move on. And we started discussing about how guys lie to you, and how they think we believe them. There is no distrust here, but if one is going to lie about things the other person already knows about, that kinda explains it all.

Funny thing was, none of us came out of the relationship on these grounds. None of us tried to confront that person just to show that we trust them completely. It is wrong too I guess, as deep inside your heart, you know that the person keeps lying to you. But, is confrontation the only way out? The person would have lied as he didn't trust us enough. Maybe buying his excuses was our way of showing that we trust you. But at the end of it all, it was our smartness that made us find out the truth some or the other way, even without being nosy about it.

Thus the header - if I was dumb, I would have avoided so many heart breaks at various stages of life. All because I used a bit of my brain, kept my eyes open, I had to go through a sad phase. This was years and years ago, when I was a teenager. Almost a decade gone and I still retain my smartness much to my fury.

These days, I am seldom taken on a ride by someone, and whenever I am, I catch it, always. And I still see it happening with friends. They know it too, still keep quiet. And keep giving one more chance, without realising that it is somewhere affecting the relationship, the trust factor which is a base of any damn relationship. Had we all been as dumb as people assumed us to be, our life would have been happier. Well, maybe.

And I hate to end a post on serious note. Not that I am funny or amusing always, but I rarely get into boring rants mode. And damn, since the time I have been told that I digress from the main topic all the time, I have become a bit conscious about writing my post. So all you wonderful people, I shall stop listening to you if you ever talk about the header connection with the post ever in the future. Ah, just kidding.

The header story

OCDs are usually weird. I have already written a post about my OCDs here (you can choose not to click, you know). The list mentioned there didn't include quite a few points which I can think of right now. I don't know whether you can call them that, but I am too particular about these things.

Now, I have not been blogging regularly, reasons best known to me. I click on new post, start writing something, erase it and start it all over again. I don't know how many times I have done so. When I am unable to write anything, I simply go to edit post, delete the saved draft and log out. I cannot keep a single post saved in drafts. It makes me feel restless. Any incomplete work makes me feel so. Either I have to complete the post, or discard it completely. Or I mail a copy to myself if the post is amazing, which happens rarely.

Music - I am genre agnostic when it comes to music. I can listen to any damn song if it sounds good to my ears. I love to play the song I really like on repeat all day, for days. People around me go crazy as they get irritated after listening to the same song. I don't blame those poor souls, for I can be very irritating at times. Or maybe all the time. Who cares!

Coming back to the reason behind this post - the header story. I mentioned in my previous post that I keep digressing from the main topic of the post and talk about everything else. Well, same thing happened this time around too. That's how I am, deal with it. I cannot stick to a plan and write. I write whatever comes to my mind - while drafting an agreement, or while talking to a friend, while listening to music, while watching tv. when I have so many distractions, how can you expect me to stick to a topic.

Thus I shall digress, each time I write. Not purposely, but it happens. Always. When I decided to write a post about headers, I thought I would write something funny about headers, but as usual, got digressed :P

So all you wonderful people who are still clueless about the connection between the post and the header, you may continue to be so. You are anyway going to read me as your love for me is blind (lucky me). For the rest of you, stop looking for the link between the post and the header; there ain't any!

I be old

Certain headers can get you so much of attention. This one is my gtalk status right now. And almost everyone on my gtalk list asked me why did I have such a status. Even those who seldom speak with me, or who have a perpetual DND status.

For me, age has never been an issue to worry about. I have never been secretive about my age either. It's silly to hide one's age, especially when you already have wrinkles on your face and you still claim to be hovering somewhere in between 25 to 28. And no, this is no exaggeration, I know people who claim to be in their late twenties even though they have crossed the thirty mark a few years back.

Well, I am sure they do have their reasons for pretending to be so young. And fears too. A friend is 32, unmarried. She loves one guy and is going around with another. The guy she is in love with wants to marry a good looking girl as he happens to be the brother of a well known bollywood actress. For him, having a hot chic as his wife is very much necessary thanks to his "social circle". They keep going in and out of the relationship. The other guy in her life is a backup, if things don't work out with this one, then he is always there.

No, don't judge her. Maybe you would have done the same thing if you were her. Age and loneliness can make you do weird things in life. Another friend is in her late thirties and single too. She happens to be a very good looking girl, very intelligent and independent. But well, she was betrayed by her guy and now it's too late and difficult for her to find a guy she would be happy with thanks to our Indian society and its mentality.

As they say, you should never underestimate a woman unless you are talking about her age or weight. It stands true in most cases. Even those who claim that they don't mind disclosing their real age/weight are usually dishonest. Usually, not always.

Ah, this is so typically me. I start talking about one point and digress to something totally different. I have been sulking about being old - not because of aging, or wrinkles (not that I have any), or greying of hair (that I have many), but just thinking about my age suddenly makes me feel oh-so-old. There is so much I have done, there is so much to do, from career to personal life, and such other things.

And there is still an ongoing process of understanding people around you. Because you care. About them and about yourself too. You get either hurt or get happiness in the process. You think something and it turns out something else.

There I digress again. In a totally unrelated news, people have been praising the upcoming movie Rockstar's music a lot. AR Rehman has composed music for a movie after quite some time. People are usually biased about him. They are telling me that his music takes some time to grow on you, but slowly and surely it will, which I highly doubt. It's pretty much ordinary, with not so good lyrics. Talk about hype and bias.

Getting Inked

I got my first tattoo done in June 2009. It was pretty late for me as I wanted one for quite some time. But getting something done on your skin which is permanent - it takes guts. And there are many myths about tattoos especially when it comes to the pain part. Who would want to get a permanent design done on body and bear pain too? The thought itself is insane, or so says my mom at least.

One of the most important things you have to remember before getting a tattoo done is the selection of design or the words/phrase/name of the person and such. Since it's a permanent thing, it's utter foolish to get the name of your spouse tattooed. People these days get divorced at the age of 45 too. Imagine having the name of your divorced better half on your hand! Always be very practical and remember that nothing but a tattoo lasts forever!

Selecting a design you like, or you can associate yourself with is very much required. When you ask a girl what kind of a tattoo she wants, her first answer will be - I want a fairy/butterfly/star done. And 6 out of 10 girls will have at least one of these objects tattooed. Their imagination does not go beyond shoulder and ankle when asked about where they want a tattoo done. And last but not the least, their fixation for coloured tattoo. They want all bright colours in their tattoos. They forget that we Indians usually have wheatish complexion. Colours become dull/light after the tattoo settles down on our body. You need a flawless white skin tone to carry off coloured tattoos. Or select colours which do not have to remain bright to look dull - like maroon, green - which happens to be the basic colour of the ink.

After taking out all my frustration on the typical girly tattoos, coming back to the selection of design part - remember, this thing will stay on you forever. Get a tattoo done of such an object that you can relate to, or love (excluding lovers/husbands). Like your parents' name, face portrait of your child/sibling/yourself, a verse or phrase you swear by, a bird/animal you like - anything you know you will never hate or get bored of. 

Then comes the shape and size of the object. This goes hand in hand with the place of tattoo. How big/small the tattoo is, placement of which also depends on its visibility to you. Some people prefer to have a tattoo on their back, so that others can see those even when they wear a slight low back gown. or on wrist, neck, face, ankle - these are the places where you can spot it easily. I have two tattoos so far, and both are on my upper arm. they are placed in such a manner that I can show/hide them whenever I want to. My profession does not allow me to have visible tattoos, thus this arrangement suits me quite a bit.

The most important part - the pain part. People, tattoos are done by machine that has a needle at its end. This needle pierces your skin, goes deep inside till the fourth layer of your skin, while the process happens, you tend to bleed too - thus it pains. I would not say that the pain is unbearable; otherwise you wouldn't have seen so many people getting their whole body inked. The pain is there, and you can bear it. Initial 5 odd minutes, you feel a lot of pain, then your body gets used to the sensation. Wherever there is a bone, it pains more, less where there is flesh.

After getting the tattoo done, the healing process is equally important. Remember, it's a wound. Your skin is pierced thousands times. The ink has gone deep in and it is settling down. You need to take care of it just like you take care of your wound. Wash it with an anti-bacterial soap, apply the gel recommended by your tattoo artist 3-4 times a day. Keep your tattoo clean, let it breathe and don't overdo anything - sunlight or hiding it behind covers.

A tattoo heals within 15 days. The first layer of skin peels off, and the fresh layer comes back - on the ink that has been pierced in. This results into a bit dull effect of the tattoo, as the colour of the tattoo has been settled on your skin. That's why it's important to select colours wisely if you want a coloured tattoo on Indian skin. Remember not to pull out the peeling skin, as it may result into embossed effect of the tattoo which doesn't look so neat. The skin will come off on its own. And your tattoo will be a part of your skin in a few days.

Ah, that's about it - the whole lecture on tattooing. I have been thinking about writing on this topic for quite some time, but somehow this post never took a shape. Finally I have written the whole damn post on tattooing. If you have any other questions about tattooing, google it.

Yet another post

Yet another night, yet another post I begin to write, about all those things which keep happening in my life - again and again.

To begin with, teaching is shaping up well. Students are scoring good marks, weekend lectures are happening due to examination pressure and weekdays are spent with friends and fun. All in all, a good life.

Sometimes, things happen in a very strange manner. You don't even realize when some relationships become so very close to you. You don't see or talk to each other regularly, but there is always a connection between you and them. You can somehow sense their thoughts and feelings, you can feel their presence even though they are not around. Does it happen to you? It does to me at least.

And such relationships I cherish. I remember the time spent with them. I miss them when I am having a good time with my friends around - at dinners, over drinks or while watching a movie. They can make you remember them and miss them even when you are in a crowd.

Those regular here must have known by now who I am talking about. I do that in every second post these days. Reason is simple - it soothes me. As much as a road trip does, or scotch does. And it makes my blog a personal diary, and a few people try to read in between the lines too, and end up offering me some advise, but I am much more sane than I come across.

And hell, I am written about too. My dear friends write about me on their blogs, they acknowledge my presence and love me much more than I love them. They miss me when I am not around, they panic when I am not contactable. Ah, what would be life without them?

In other totally irrelevant news, I saw two movies recently - speedy singhs and Mausam. Both the movies are bad. Speedy Singhs is quite an ok one, but I don't know why it was made as there have been similar movies made in past - on the same theme and with the same community too. Russell Peters is totally wasted in it. Rather, he should stick to his stereotypes racist jokes and stand up. He excels there.

And Mausam - the less I say, the better it is. It is one of the worst movies ever made. It is full of various riots and terrorist attacks, bomb blasts etc. since 1991. And somehow the lead actors end up becoming a part of each of it - directly or indirectly. And still they survive. Phew, this happens only in hindi movies.

So all you wonderful people who have reached the bottom of this page, I have saved you from a disaster right now just as an incentive for reading the whole post. What? No more awards are accepted/distributed here for being a nice reader. It was a trend of 70s. 

Thoughts..

Sometimes, so many thoughts are running through your mind that you don't know where to begin from. Whether to blog, or save in drafts, or just tweet away, post status updates, save in mail draft, word file, write a diary, ponder, forget, cry, run away, accept, embrace, give up, fight back or simply ignore them. No matter how hard you try, they haunt you always. Our mind is that way.

Talking of mind, what do you think would be our mind? Heart is an organ, but mind? Where is it? Does it have a form? How come it controls us so much? How can it be an integral part of us and still remain non-existence in being?

Ah, too much of philosophy can kill me you know. My so called non-being mind is always so damn philosophical that I wonder - does it really stay somewhere within my personality? I have always been so carefree, or careless whatever you want to call me. The kind of thoughts I get when I am sad or low are damn scary to say the least.

Yes, the thought storm is at its peak at the moment. I don't say that I am sad or happy right now. I am just in a different mood. When you keep running in life, and suddenly lose all your strength just before the finish line because you are tired, mentally and physically. You want everything to stand still, but nothing does. You are stuck and trapped. Everything is moving but you. That is the worst feeling to have when you cannot afford to slow down in life. Nothing interests you, not even work you are in love with, to an extent that even your survival does not matter after some point.

But still you survive. And how! Hiding the tears, faking a laugh seem like childhood things to you when you stand there, still alive, right before the finishing line. It kills you each second, making you weaker by each moment, and that weakness makes you all the more stronger.

There is a turmoil in your heart. Or is it there in the mind? Or it's not there at all? Can an illusion create such an impact too by lurking around, making sure that you actually believe it to be true? Illusion is such an easy way out from this. But if only you could call it an illusion...

Relationships

The header itself is dripping philosophy. Well, you can do justice to such posts mostly when you are in the trans mode, or feeling extremely emotional/sentimental about certain things or people. On any normal day, you will end up being diplomatic and write it in a very politically correct manner. I am blabbering now. Well, a slow and boring day can do that too you.

For the past 4-5 days, I have not been in blogging mood at all. I have not even read anything. Nor am I planning to read any in the coming 4-5 days. I like such short breaks. I like the hibernating feeling once in a while. I like to cut off completely from some part of the world that involves technology. Our life is full of it these days. You can't even afford to keep your cell phone off for 24 hours. It's a mad mad world.

And this technology has made us more emotional, touchy and angry about so many things. Especially relationships. Earlier, long distance relationships had a lot of suffering as there were not many means to contact each other. These days, it has become a pain in a$$. You video-chat with the person sitting across miles and oceans, you get angry when he/she doesn't turn up on time or turn up at all, you get frustrated as you are feeling low and can't even hug him/her, you smile the moment you see the person appear online. Ah the technology!

I feel wonderful when I get to connect to people who are not in the same continent as me. But I talk to them whenever I want to, I get to see them, share those small things which were otherwise not possible anymore. But when the person is within your reach, when that person comes back in the same country that you live in, and is just couple of hours away, and you are unable to meet him/her or connect to him/her on regular basis, it becomes frustrating before you even realize it.

It happened with me twice. I was within the reach of the person and could not meet the person or met for a very short period. When they were in India, I couldn't even talk to them because they had their families around them since they were meeting them after a year, and we were anyway connected online. I even fought with one of them on this matter.

Later on I was thinking about it - it was my love for them that was making me angry. They might be feeling the same frustration when I am not reachable, or I have certain commitments.Funny thing is, these people are a part of my virtual world coming real! But they have managed to be a part of me, my life like they had always been around.

Ah, the boring stories of me and my mind. Someone correctly said - expectations lead to disappointment. And the series of such frustrating disappointments result into boring blog posts too which you can choose to ignore. Hah, anyway nobody reads me these days :P

Free Gyaan

After reading the header, do I hear you say that you have got this so many times? It happens with almost all of us. When we are young, from watchman to milkman, elder brother to grand father - everyone comes and gives us gyaan on various things!

As a kid, I was always told how to behave, how to dress, how to talk and various other things. I was brought up in a small town in Gujarat. People there were pretty orthodox. Anything above the knee after the age of 10 was a sin! Wearing a short top on denim? Gosh, you are such a cheap girl! Yes, people are still this orthodox even today!

A few people still raise their eyebrows when they see my tattoos, or see others wearing short dresses for a party, or a girl smoking.Well, I do know that each of us is entitled to an opinion, but when the opinion comes across as a negative remark, the problem starts then. We commonly know it as generation gap!

So far, I was thinking that there exist a vast gap between me and elder people around me. I used to crib about how my mother does not approve of certain things that I do, certain clothes that I wear, certain kind of music I hear and movies I watch, late night parties, sleep overs etc. I always used to argue with my mother about how my friends were allowed to do certain things and I wasn't. Now, they don't tell me anything anymore as I am grown up. I have become "wise enough" to know what's good for me and what's not. Nobody gives me any lecture anymore on what I should or shouldn't be doing.

Well, I was under the impression that I was a very "modern" girl until now. I happened to meet a friend's teenage daughter. I was talking to her. She was telling me about how her life is, what kind of a lifestyle she and her friends and plenty of people of her age have, how they party, have boyfriends since standard 7, how almost all her friends have a blackberry and an iPhone each! Phew! I was amazed to say the least. I couldn't give her a lecture thanks to my mindset of the "modern girl", but I realized that our parents are at least honest. They voice out what they feel about the way we live. We pretend to be cool about many things we ain't comfortable with.

I will continue to live under the pretence, because I know how I felt about the gyaan I got from everyone around me. Whatever I think is good for me may not be so for someone else. Bah, I feel old suddenly!

Making a difference

Anna Hazare and his arrest is making a lot of noise all around. I am neither with him, nor against him. My reason is simple - there are too many complications in this game. Fighting corruption is sidelined completely. People are taking part in rallies, candle march and such other sh!t like it is going to help. No I don't have an "nothing will ever make any difference, so don't do anything" attitude. But I don't believe in wasting my time and energy behind headless things either.

I come across sloguns like - Anna nahi aandhi hai, Desh ka naya Gandhi hai! Why can't you let him be an individual simply? Is it necessary to compare every non-violent person with Gandhi and others with Azad or Bhagat Singh? I found "Subhash Chandra Bose's death was faked" story more interesting than these theories.

Anyway, I have blogged about this earlier too. But I mentioned it again as a very interesting incident happened yesterday when I was travelling. Since Anna Hazare got arrested and was missing for more than two hours some time after his arrest, there was naka bandi at almost all the busy corners of Mumbai. At one such corner, I spotted a traffic police taking bribe!

Here, you have one man who is going to jail for introducing the Jan Lokpal bill, and on the other side, he is, to an extent responsible for the bribe given and taken at the time of Naka bandi!

We have all kinds people around. A very interesting incident happened today again, this time it was an autowala who helped me. I have a huge collection of books. When I shifted to a new house, I had kept my books at a friend's place as there was no place initially. I got these books back today. There were more than 200 books of all different sizes. I had my laptop and three huge bags full of books with me. My autowala was a Muslim guy and building watchman was not around. This happens whenever you need them. I asked the autowala whether he had kept a roza and was fasting or not. He said he was. When we reached my building, he insisted on helping me with the bags. I was refusing constantly as I couldn't even have offered him water after he would get the bags. He didn't listen to me, gave me the lightest bag to carry and he carried two other bags which were too heavy.

I was feeling so guilty about it as I knew he would not even be able to have water after that. When he dropped the bags at home, I offered him some money. He refused to take it. I kept on insisting that he should take it as I would feel very guilty about it, but he didn't listen to me at all. He just smiled and left. I could not even ask for his name or contact number, but I am sure god will bless him wherever he is.

After seeing him, I have realized that WE have to change. Nobody will be able to make any difference unless and until we all do it on individual level. Stopping corruption is a conscious effort that each of us has to make. No rallies will help you if you are going to pay 100 Rs. for breaking the signal as a bribe to aviod further complications!

Happy and Not so happy moments

Time flies. Around this time, a year back, I didn't know what the hell was going on in my life. It was probably one of the most difficult phases for me. Things are not perfect now, but not so bad either. Back then, each day felt like a year, each moment crawled slower than the snail. And as they say, you know who your friends are when you are going through a rough phase. Same thing happened with me too. There were a few people who stood by me, whenever I needed them. And I was fortunate enough to have more than one such friends in my life.

Another blessing was my two year old niece - one year old then. Her constant mischief, growing up days and her love kept me going.

Such madness can keep anyone going.

Many things changed during this period. My blogging reduced drastically and replying to comments became zero. My readership could have been negative too if it was not for you wonderful people.

I complete two hundred posts. No matter how much one claims that one does not care about number of comments and readers, but you do care. If you didn't, then you wouldn't blog on a public platform at all! Yes, we don't always blog on topics that others like, but we never blog about topics others hate. Bah, I rant so much!

And I got my second tattoo done. I had blogged about the first one too. Check archives to see it. 

I am off to Pune for two days. It's a very random trip, no bookings done anywhere whatsoever! And India lost the match! Sigh!

In other news, my darling Guria is in India. I so wanted to go and meet her, but it won't be possible. I hope to meet her, and soon enough.

And India lost the test series. One of the most pathetic performances ever given by the erstwhile world number one test cricket team. I am sad again!

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder or popularly known as OCD. So many of us suffer from it. It is not a good or a bad thing. It is just there inside us. I don't know whether there is any cure for OCD or not, but if it drives you mad, then please go look for its cure!

You might have heard this from many people that they are cleanliness freaks. Erm, to be honest, cleanliness freaks is more of a fashion statement than an OCD symptom thanks to Monica of Friends. But I do know certain people who suffer from an extreme case of OCD when it comes to cleaning. A friend of mine suffers from such an OCD. She has to clean each and every corner of her room. Everything has to be kept in its own place. She does not like it if you leave the mobile charger in the switch board, or comb on the dressing table, or clothes behind the door. She even arranges her wardrobe in colour coordinated manner - all blacks together, whites together, different sack for formals, semi formals, casuals, Indian wear, Sarees - phew!

When we were doing our masters together, we had gone to pune to appear for the exam. Now I suffer from OCD too. I cannot study in a very clean room. I have to have all my books around me when I sit down to study, whether I refer to them or not. I sit with the books of other subjects too, whether I have that exam or not. This makes me realize that I am done with my studies now. Ah I miss it!

Talking about my OCDs, my worst OCD is about reading. Once I start a book, no matter how pathetic it is, I have to finish reading it. I will give up on my sleep, my peace of mind behind that awful book, but I have to read the whole damn thing!

How clean is your desktop? I have to have items in odd numbers on my desktop. 3, 5 or maximum 7. More than 7 items on desktop makes me uneasy. Each night before sleeping, I clear chat history if it is there. I cannot keep any mail unread. If I am in hurry, I will open it and close it again, but I will not leave it unread. Any unimportant mail goes directly into trash. Trash is cleared too before logging out. Checking privacy setting every now and then is another habit!

And those calculations. I have this irritating habit of adding the digits of car numbers while travelling. If I miss out on one, I become too restless. It is my best passtime while travelling. Even when I am walking and pass by any parked vehicle, I calculate the digits. I keep a track of milestones. I look for patterns in them. If any of the milestone is missing a pattern, I feel weird. When I was in college, I knew which pole had what number plate it. On railway tracks, the kilometres are mentioned on a plate, and I knew the whole pattern by heart! It scared my friends a lot, but that is how my mind worked then. Now I no longer look for milestone or pole patterns, though digit counting continues.

Another habit was of remembering phone numbers and account numbers. I remember most of my friends' mobile numbers even today. I remember all my past and present account numbers. I remember my debit and credit card numbers, BB Pin, room numbers of the hotels I have stayed in so far - I am way too obsessed with numbers.

Too many OCDs! Phew! But none of them drive me crazy anymore. There is no extreme restlessness feeling when I skip some number calculation. It is still there in case of reading, but that's that. I read only fiction, so it does not as such harm me, but yeah, I suffer from OCD. So, what are your OCDs? Or there is only one?

Copy and Copyrights

Disclaimer: I am forced to write this post as there are various leading newspapers and magazines which are publishing blog posts without taking prior permission of the original author. Read on if you want to know about copyright laws and/or have been the victim of copyright violation, or come back to read when you become one!

Every now and then I keep reading about how blog posts are being used by leading newspapers and magazines as a part of their regular content. Irony is that these newspapers and magazines do not even bother to take a prior written (or even oral) permission from the authors of the original content. Posts are getting edited, tweaked and published shamelessly!

Around a year back, when I was as lousy a blogger as I am now, my posts were copied too verbatim by a site twice. They didn't even give a linkback. They simply mentioned my name as the author. No blog link anywhere, nothing. I sent them a mail informing them that I would take a legal action against them for publishing my posts without taking my permission. They immediately removed my posts and promised me that they would never publish my worthless content ever! Ah, what a loss for me!

I lost an amazing opportunity to be a famous lousy blogger, but I know a few amazing bloggers whose posts were copied recently. These magazines and newspapers are respected and reputed names. When a newspaper recently copied a blogger's blog post, upon asking the newspaper editor said that they gave proper credit to the blogger. The blogger's permission was not obtained before publishing the post. Further, it was edited too. The matter will be resolved soon, but the way it was treated on social sites like twitter was very disappointing. A few replies were rude and vague.

I have a very simple question: For how long these newspapers and magazines are going to take blogs and blog posts lightly? We write posts for ourselves. When we see other media channels making money and gaining readership by using our content without even taking our prior permission, it violates our copyrights that we have on the content.

For any medium that wants to use any content of any person, first that medium has to take a prior written permission from the author. Upon the terms and conditions agreed upon by the author and the printing medium; due credit, publishing and re-publishing of the content, number of times the content to be re-published, period over which it can be re-published and such various terms are decided.

In India, when a literary, artistic or dramatic content is copied without prior permission, or plagiarised by someone; it is protected under Indian copyright act. Further, Information Technology Act 2000 has certain provisions too for the protection of original content especially softwares.

When a person whose content is copied without his/her permission, it is called as Infringement. There are certain acts which do not amount to Infringement. (Kindly click on the links I have provided. They are useful for you as they give you an insight of the laws relating to copyright to protect your original content). As per the Indian Copyright Act, when a person violates your Copyright, he is punishable with an imprisonment of minimum 6 months, but which may extend to three years; and a fine of minimum of 50,000 which may extend to 2,00,000 or both. There are various punishments for various kinds of Infringement, which can be found in the Indian copyright Act. You can contact me too if you want to know about a specific infringement punishment.

It is a serious offense to copy someone's original content. These days, the leading newspapers and magazines are publishing original content of bloggers without their prior permission. Isn't it sad? Our blogs are protected under Creative Commons License. This license does not give permission to non-owner to copy the content of the blog without blog owner's permission. Still, these newspapers and magazines shamelessly steal content from blogs so that they don't have to pay any money to the writers for such articles. Further, they say that they are a huge platform and they are obliging bloggers by publishing their posts and giving them due credit. This, according to them is much more than the monetary compensation. For such a feature, they don't even find it needful to take the permission of that blogger. And a few fools like me still swear by ethics!

There is a difference between Plagiarism and Copyright violation. When someone uses your original content unde his/her name and claiming it to be his/her original content, it is called as plagiarism. While copyright violation is when someone uses your original content, publishes or re-publishes it without your prior consent, it amounts to copyright violation.

Yes, I am angry. And I have written this post so that in future when famous brands copy your content without taking your permission or without giving due credit, you can refer to this post to know whether or not they have violated your copyright. You can even contact me in this matter as I have done my masters in Law in Intellectual Property Laws. I have written a thesis of 200 pages on Infringement. Whoever is interested, I can mail them a copy for their reference. Mind you, that theses is my copyright, so dare you borrow it to copy and publish it in your "famous" newspaper!

Rules

Almost everyone knows how wonderful mumbai monsoon is. More so because of the famous floods of 26th July 2005 where so many were stranded, lost home, lives, valuables and trust on BMC. Yeah yeah I know BMC sounds more like an abuse, but it's full form is Bombay Municipal Corporation. I am surprised as to why it has not yet been changed to MMC - Mumbai Municipal Corporation? Or the B stands for Brihanmumbai? Ah, anything is possible here.

Talking about Mumbai rains and floods, every year, the Government claims that they have a better drainage system this time around, and every year it fails. That's consistency I must say. We get scared every time it rains continuously for 2 to 3 hours. We panic, leave work and head home to avoid getting stuck again in the floods!

And there are bomb blasts too, happening every now and then  in Mumbai and everywhere else! But that deserves a separate post which I am hoping I don't have to write next time.

After talking about everything but the main topic of this post, let me get back to the main topic - Rules. Yes we all break them, but we forget that they are for our own good! A similar thing happened with me recently. These days, there is a fine of 300 Rupees if you smoke in a cab. You see the No smoking sticker on almost all the cabs. There was a rule too in between about smoking ban in vehicles - public transport as well as private vehicles. But that didn't last even for a day! 

This rule is being followed by many cab drivers. I asked one driver whether people followed the rule or not. He said that people don't really follow the rules. Nobody listens to the cab drivers. They smoke nevertheless. He even said that the police officer who had hired his cab was also smoking inside the cab. This ban has a reason behind it. Since the cabs are pretty old and work on CNG, if there is even a bit of leakage, there can be a fatal accident. It's a very very valid reason for banning smoking in the cab, but for how long the rule will be implemented? If a policeman smokes inside the vehicle, then how can we expect others to follow them after seeing this?

I have seen this so many times that at the time of traffic jams, traffic police bikes even go from the wrong side. I understand that they might be getting late for their duty, but if such a step causes more jam or inconvenience, then they should at least ensure that they have other traffic cop to take care of the jam there!

Yes yes I know it's easy to talk about such things. But what else to do? At least talking about it may help to improve the situation a bit!

Top Indian blog is mine. Bah!

Hi
Congratulations! The Directory of Best Indian Blogs is out and your nice blog figures in that. We thought, let's announce that to you.

Since all blogs do not have emails clearly mentioned, we have taken the liberty of telling you of this by making a comment on your latest blogpost. Hope, you don't mind it.
Happy blogging!

ITB team

I am sure almost all of you received this comment on your latest post. I got the same comment too, in spite of my e-mail id being clearly visible on my blogger profile. Had they visited my "profile" and not the blog, then I am sure they would have found it. But they were too busy informing 1000s of bloggers that they didn't get time to check my precious profile, my amazing bio that took 2 years to write :| No value for emotions these days I tell you!

Now, I read my name on the site two days before they "informed" me that they found my blog worthy enough to be listed on their site as one of the top Indian blogs. Duh, and I thought I was above all these things, I was invincible and immortal in this blogging world; but alas, this Best Indian Blogs directory broke this fantabulous spell for me! How hurt I felt when I saw my name being featured there with so many others who don't even know what they write on their blogs. There were people who never read anything ever but blindly commented everywhere to get comments back, there were those who didn't know which language they were blogging in! Phew!

Do I sound harsh? Hell that's what I intend to! Reason is simple - on what basis do you include a blog in the top blog list? What factors do you consider? They labeled blogs in platinum, gold, excellent etc categories. I noticed that very few blogs deserved to be there. Rest all were there because of their high readership and not content! I felt so amazing as I was not listed in any of those categories. I was at the bottom most level and hoping to be chucked out as soon as possible!

June blogosphere survey of Indian blogs - Please click on this link and read the first two comments. Maybe it will help you to come back to your senses!

Again, many of you think that it's a privilege to be there. Good for you. But it's silly to be judged as most of us write because we like to write. We write in pathetic English, on random topics, our verses don't rhyme, our posts are so boring that sometimes even we don't feel like giving it a read! And hell we are happy with our blogs. Judge professional blogs, or at least show us on what basis you are judging us. You are someone unknown, totally random who does not even own a site or a web space, you inform me one fine day that my "nice" blog features in your "best" blog list!

And we are amazing too! Instead of not supporting such wannabes sites, we thank them and acknowledge them. When the scams come out, we abuse them. Our memory is short lived. We forgot We Blog episode so easily. How so many of us had given an interview there, and then cried foul as you felt cheated because the Admin of We Blog turned out to be the guy who took away lacs of Rupees prizes from you!

Again, who am I to say all these things? I am that hurt, invincible and immortal blogger who doesn't like to be judged! Spare me please! You can go ahead, accept, applaud and fool yourself, I won't! Thank you very much!

Harry Potter: My Journey

Year: 1998. You are in your very first year of college. You join coaching classes for a new subject called Accounts as you will have to study it for the next five years. You enter the class room and take a seat somewhere in a far corner, away from the stage. The professor enters. He is tall, very well dressed and very handsome. You are completely bowled over by his personality as all you have seen so far is guys with the facial hair that looks not-so-nice! No I don't blame them, for they cannot shave at an early age too, thus they have to put up with that, and we have to put up with them!

I will skip the details about how moron most of the guys were then (come on, even you guys will agree that you looked morons!), but looking at a handsome professor made almost all of us go crazy about him that very instant! We attended each and every lecture, paid attention at smallest of the things, asked for queries after the lectures and did such other teenage stupidity!

One fine day during the lecture, he mention a name - J. K. Rowling and her book called Harry Potter. This was in 1998 or 1999. That was the time I had just started reading books. Since I was brought up in a small town, I didn't know much about novels. Nancy Drew name was the only name that was not new to me, rest all the authors were unheard of. Rowling sounded more like an alien. But since it was a recommendation from my professor, I decided to give it a try. That's how I first heard about Harry Potter when it released. She was not so famous then, but people loved the first book!

That time, I lived in a hostel. Pocket money life, limited budget and could not afford the books. Somewhere in 2000 or 2001, I bought first three Harry Potter books second hand copies, and I still have them. At that time, fourth book had just released. I finished reading first three and then bought the fourth one. The reason was simple - I didn't know whether I would like the books or not. Thus, didn't spend money behind the fresh copies.

I remember waiting for the book release since book number 5. I was one of the first ones to buy the 7th book and finish it in one go. I started reading at 10 am and finished it by 4 am next day! I have been that crazy. I have read each book at least 50 times and seen each movie around that many times. I saw The last movie twice already today itself. And don't know for how many times I will again see it!

Harry Potter series is over. But I am sure the fans will keep reading the books again and again. Maybe not 50 60 times, but at least once or twice a year there will be a Harry Potter marathon. It's amazing how something leaves so much of an impact on you.

I am in my late twenties, but I still want Hogwarts to be real (I believe it to be true too), I laugh on Fred and George jokes, love to hate Voldemort, feel so sad for Snape, I cry whenever I see Dobby or Snape die, I love Bellatrix's character - she is hot, I feel betrayed when Dumbledore hides things from Harry - and the list goes on and on. I have lived through Harry Potter, I have lived with Harry Potter and will continue to do so!

Amby Valley

The piled up unfinished drafts prove that I don't have lack of time or subject to blog about! It has just been a sheer laziness that I don't complete a post. Let's see whether this sees the light of the day or not! Or at least the lack of it thanks to the rains!

Days are usual with work and teaching. I took a break for a week, went to Amby Valley for two days. It was an awesome trip. Quite a rejuvenating trip it was. I lived in an amazing chalets, with awesome weather to compliment the whole vacation mood. Here is a picture of the place:

I enjoyed a nice Kerala massage there, bumpy and scary Jungle safari and a few more adventure sports and my vacation was over! Sigh! Good things don't last long!

Uploading a few more pictures of the place. Don't mind the quality! I am a lousy photographer! I clicked a few of them from the moving car/golf cart!

Praying for the next vacation real soon!

The lawyer God not!

It's such an irony when people expect a professional to know everything! Yeah I am starting this post on a very angry note - angry because every other day I face this! I am a lawyer and you all know that as you will see me flaunting it everywhere! But people forget one simple thing - I am a human being! All the lawyers are! We are not gifted with super powers to know and remember everything!

Reason behind the above paragraph - I am always asked different questions on law related matters by clients and relatives all the time. The question may belong to any of the 100s of existing acts. It may be of any nature viz. Civil, Criminal, Commercial, Non-commercial, Quasi Judicial and such. There are so many laws that exist. There are so many laws that keep coming out. Even if we read them all, it is not possible to remember each and every small detail of it! But people think we are God, or super heroes or heroines for that matter! They think we must know everything!

My maternal uncle happened to call me up. He lives in Gujarat. He had some query about taxation in property matter. I told him very politely that I was not aware about the laws there and he should consult some local lawyer there. He started telling how good for nothing lawyer I was and how I studied but didn't learn anything, how I don't have any future in this field and such else! He must thank god that he was related to my mom!

But it's not only about him! Most of the people expect us to know it all! Brothers and Sisters, it is NOT possible to know all the acts and all the laws. We may be able to give you a fair idea but not the exact law! Are you aware about the types of lawyers that exist? There are civil lawyers, criminal lawyers, lawyers specializing in family law matters - Hindu, Muslim, Parsi laws specialization, lawyers specializing in wills related matters, property consultants, Intellectual property related laws specialists, lawyers specializing in Government job related matters - the list goes on and on! So people, when you can't remember this list after reading it once, how will we remember the acts all these lawyers deal with all the time?

And those who think our job is easy, we have ready made templates, it's more of a mechanical job etc., well do you know that each case is different? Each person has different priority and requirements? Each state and country has different laws, we not only have to keep in mind those laws, but the dispute resolution methods too as certain modes of dispute resolution are very very expensive as compared to India, certain words have to be present in a document for it to be valid legally! Yes there are templates, there is mechanical work involved, but we have to use our brain much more than others to create a water tight document!

And we have it all easy? If only we did!

Dream

Almost all of us see dreams while sleeping. A few remember them, a few don't. I belong to the former category. I usually remember all the dreams that I see. Sometimes I remember each and every minute detail of it and other times the visuals are clear but the dialogues ain't; but I do remember my dreams.

They say that you usually dream of things/situations/people you are thinking about before sleeping. Same thing happens with me too. One such dream I saw that I remember way too clearly was based on something I was pondering about just before sleeping. India - Windies One day international series is going on. Night before the last, we played the third one day. I slept after watching the highlights of the match after the match got over. And I dreamt of going to West Indies!

Now, usually my dreams are detailed ones and one dream goes on for that night. If I get up in between to drink water and the dream gets interupted, it continues after I go back to sleep from where it had stopped. Yes, for me the dream is like a parallel universe! Here goes the brief narration of one of the weirdest dreams I have seen so far which I guess went on for whatever 5-6 hours I must have slept for!

I took a flight for Windies with a couple of cousins of mine. We were 8 people. I knew them very well in the dream, but in real life, I have never seen them. Before reaching the airport, I knew I had checked for my passport and visa. I made a mental note in my dream and boarded the flight. Now, there was one row of 8 seats for us. Rest of the flight had normal seating arrangement! So we all sit together in one line! My cousin occupies window, the moment I am to tell him to get up and give me the window seat, the flight starts. I am surprised as they do not announce anything about the take off, nor any safety instructions etc.

Now, the plane is passing by narrow mumbai lanes. I have somehow shifted to cockpit by now. I am very scared of dying in a plane crash as the wing passes by the lanes and misses the walls narrowly!But the fear didn't last for long as soon enough I realized I was dreaming and even if I died, it was only in dream!

The plane smartly navigated through the narrow lanes, a short take off at slopes and landing again and finally the take off happens. I come back to my seat and fight with my cousin for the window and manage to get it! Slowly I see that we are now passing by mountains and hills. Again, the gap between the plane and hills is so narrow that I feel the fear of the crash. Suddenly the plane lands on a huge rock where a few people are waiting to come aboard. Weird! The thought coming in my mind is of a bus stop - it feels like so, plane halting somewhere, people getting in from wherever they want! The moment I think so, their outfit change to knee length sarees and dhotis!

They are aboard and I am irritated! I get up and stand at the door! Heck yaar, if people can treat plane as a bus then I can do that too! We are flying again and my hands can touch the rocks but we still manage to fly without crashing! Ah, advantages of a dream - you cannot die there :P Wile at the door, I spot a Gujju Baa waiving at me. I wave back and come back inside!

We are descending again and this time thankfully land at an airport. There is a five hour halt and some football match going on. We are not allowed to go out of the plane but I fight with them, tell them I am a lawyer and other blahs and go for the match! I watch that match. Some local teams playing fabulously. They are all brutal when it comes to pushing and hitting other players! I come back after the match, take my seat, we are flying again. The moment we land in Windies, I tell myself that it's time to wake up and dream to get over!

Ah, I have skipped the small details of this dream. The dream lasted for quite a few hours. I don't know for how many hours I slept for and for how long each scene was happening! But it was a very long dream, and a very weird one. Got bored while reading it? Well, I never said please read, It's an interesting post! Duh!

Being Strong

I have lost the count of the number of times I have been told I am strong. Every time I have been told that, it makes me think - what makes one strong? "Being Strong" is a very relative term. I know many people who have faced certain situations in such a manner that when I even think of keeping myself in their shoes, I shiver. I don't think I can ever be as brave as them if I were to face it. And when I get to hear the same thing about me, I feel like saying - dude, it's not true!

If smiling even when you are deep in shit is strong, if controlling your true emotions is strong, if thinking about others first at the cost of your happiness is being strong then I am sorry. I don't want to be one. Those who are labeled as "strong" may agree with me that it is not something to be proud of. It's the weakest trait of a person, the worst one you can ever imagine.

People who can show their emotions are much better than those keeping a strong front all the time. Sometimes, you just need to express your true feelings. It can save you from many miseries that come your way in the future. It's fine to cry when you are low. It's normal to accept that you lost than stand there and fight the lost battle!

Yes I am in a pretty weird mood. And it is the result of the same old shit I get to hear every now and then. People can be so judgmental in life that it makes you hate yourself for appearing to be deceptive! It takes great efforts to stop yourself from slapping them! Yes, that's the only thing you want to do to them, and they so bloody well deserve it!

No, I am not strong! I am a mere mortal like you. I don't like the tag of being so amazing at facing situations. I break down too at the end of the day, if not at that moment or in front of others. And I don't recover out of it just like you. It is rather worse for me as my emotions stay buried inside me. It makes me weaker than most of you. My life is full of pessimism too, and it is a permanent state unlike yours as there is no way my emotions come out! It's a storage bag that has only fill option!

I am not writing it to hear how sorry you are for me. That's the last thing I want to hear. Nor I want comments like you understand, because you cannot! Today is one of those days when my patience bag is overflowing and I need to empty it. Public platform as I know many who can relate to this! Thank you for reading it and trying not to say sorry! It doesn't matter anyway! And a few of you, I know you are there for me. Thank you very much!