Paani puri ke side effects

I am finally done with attending all the weddings. I was supposed to go to Pune to attend my friend's reception, but health finally gave up. Bad throat and cough thanks to the food and drinks I had for the past one week!

Now, I am highly allergic to mint. This is the reason I cannot have any food item which has mint. We do not use mint in most recipes, so I do not miss much; but one of my most favourite chats - Pani Puri or Golgappa - it has mint. And I cannot eat that :(

I usually have good control over my taste buds, but this time around, when you have 5-6 bhukkad friends around you, it's difficult to control!

For each of the three weddings and various functions that I attended, I had a group of friends around me. We were hogging onto the starters as if we had not eaten for years! Whatever was coming our way, we were eating that in HUGE quantity! Be it some mughlai starter or a chinese one, regular veg koftas to juices-mocktails-soft drinks name it and you see us having it!

And Lunch! One poor guy took Basundi at least four times; each time he was unsuccessful in even tasting a drop! Someone or the other was taking away the bowl the moment he refilled! Reason - just for fun!

Then there was Paani Puri counter! We went there, thinking we would simply taste one or two! It started flowing in and without realizing, we had quite a few of them.

I got an upset stomach and bad throat thanks to all the hogging that we did over a period of four days! And thanks to that, I could not attend my close friend's reception at Pune! Ah, missed one hogging party!

I am off to MP tonight. A mini vacation I deserve. And it may sound strange, but this is my first ever vacation of my own money! So far, family sponsored the vacations even though I was earning. But this time around, it's different. It's going to be a budget trip - not because it's my own money, but because that's the fun part of the trip according to me and three other friends who are accompanying me. We are going to travel by train and stay in non star hotels! I am very much looking forward to it. Those on my facebook will see the pictures soon. Those who read me may be disappointed a bit as I am pathetic at writing travelogues. Nevertheless, if I come across interesting people on the tour, they will surely be blogged about!

So, until next week, ciao!

PS: For my convenience, I have removed comment moderation. So be careful while posting any love messages :P

Weddings!

It's wedding season all around us. Each day, there is some or the other wedding happening. First, people spend money to get married, then they spend money to raise the reason behind the marriage. Some times, the reasons are more than one! 

Don't get me wrong. I love kids. I am very fond of them; but when I see the ever exploding population, my mind tells me to give gyaan to all those who are yet to know the meaning of family planning and who strongly believe in "hum do, humare do. zyada ho to phek do". Isn't it better if one plans for one kid only so as to do one's bit to control the population a bit?

Anyway, this post is not about the gyaan on population either. I have to attend a few weddings and receptions in this week. I went for a very close friend's Mahendi function today and applied mahendi on both the hands! I love it. It always make me feel very happy. I love the smell and the look of it on hands. Here is a pic for you!

Isn't it lovely? :)

Now, a typical Indian wedding has many advantages - good food, happy and cheerful people around you, mahendi, meeting old friends and such. But the worst part of it - shaadi.com! A few aunties are always ready with numerous proposals for you even before you open your mouth to say that you are already married! Prospective brides and grooms will be bestowed upon you the moment you enter the wedding hall (hole if it is a gujju wedding!)

I have to attend such weddings in this week! And I am planning to carry a board with me which says - Not available for shaadi.com! Hope it works!

PS: Busy time ahead. After attending 2 weddings and 4 functions, I am going on a mini vacation I truly deserve. I will be back before the new year and another outstation business trip to a hill station awaits in the first week of January. I will try to be as regular as possible on this space as I miss blogging so much!

PPS: It was my birthday on the 14th of this month. But I am still accepting belated wishes (even advance ones for the next year for that matter!). 

Mother's "Love"

Don't we all love our mothers? 

But most of us get scared when our mothers express their love for us in the form of food, pampering in public, praising us in front of "marriageable prospects", choosing clothes for us - the list is quite long!

I get scared too sometimes when my mom starts talking about my qualification in front of those perpetually gossiping aunties. She even mentions the courses I left mid way or still pursuing. Ah it does get embarrassing some times as it's not a big deal to be a double graduate and double post graduate; is it? :P

Luckily for me, her habit of stuffing my stomach till it bursts is no problem at all as I am blessed with high metabolism (thank god!) and thin/fat kind of things don't matter to me much. But it does make me very much lazy! Like I have this typical gujju habit of taking a nap in the noon. Since I have my own firm and my work is not time bound, I can do that. But such a habit proves tricky when I have a client meet or a visit to retainer clients.

These days, she has made a Saturday night schedule for me. She oils my hair each Saturday. There is some home made oil she has got from somewhere. She empties at least 200 grams of it in my hair and makes me a champu! No matter at what time I return home, I have to become champu once a week! Poor me!!

And those stories of their times about how they listened to their mothers and never cribbed about the quantity of food, or the oil in hair, or even the gossip part for that matter. Ah, talk of the times 30 years back and now. But I do not mention that out of fear of starving myself for an hour! After that, she is my mother and she will give me food anyway :P

And that's the most beautiful thing about her and all the mothers. Whatever they do, they do for us. Unconditionally. Since the time we are born, they make us their priority. They make us cry but cry for us too, they sacrifice their career, lifestyle, social circle, outings and many more things just to give us a perfect upbringing.

Ah, there is no special occasion today. I just felt like sharing something emotional, thus this post. What does irritate you in a nice way about your mother or father? Do share it in the comment box :)

Once a Sydenhamite, Always a Sydenhamite!

Disclaimer: This post is about my College and my love for it - Sydenham. You must have already read some part of it on my blog if you read me regularly. For the others, it may be boring and dragging. You can simply skip to read it. It does not have a single sarcastic statement about you!

I hate it when I don't have time to do nothing. It is very important for me to waste at least half an hour to an hour a day doing nothing, but it's not happening these days. Before I realize, I already have a backlog for many things. There are so many posts I have not read, so many people I have not spoken with, so many documents pending for review, so many queries unanswered, so much so that I feel I need more than 24 hours a day. Next month is going to be the same for me with teaching deadlines to meet as the exams are approaching, then I will be busy with my Masters exams. PHEW!!

But what disturbs me the most is that I do not find time to blog. And it's not only about writing, but reading too. It disturbs me when I don't even find half an hour each day to do something I have a passion for. Ah, I hope some restless people don't attack me again for this post :P

Coming back to the title of this post - my regular readers know (and already bored and irritated by now) about my love for Sydenham college and Tea centre. Since my lectures are at South Mumbai, I do get a bit of time to take a walk on my favourite roads there. Now, I happened to take a walk on B road where Sydenham is located. Ah, the memories, the time, the people - nostalgia all over again! Nostalgia is a kind of feeling that makes you happy and sad at the same time, and you want to share your experience with people who are associated with that place or memory you are feeling nostalgic about.

I did the same thing. I uploaded a status on facebook. And to my greatest surprise, at least 15-18 sydenhamites commented and liked the status. We all could relate to what I mentioned there. We all got nostalgic and remember our time spent there.

For most Sydenhamites, Sydenham was our first home. We reached there at 8 in the morning and left not before 8 or 9. We spent most of our times either in our society rooms, or common rooms or canteen. Likes like me even spent hours sitting on car bumpers. Morning started with a yell of "JK, chai lao" in the first year. Then the names kept changing from Lancy to Nagesh, to Manju to chotu. I loved to interact with the canteen people. They always had interesting stories to share. I so wish I was blogging at that time. I could have preserved all those memories then.

For commerce students, college is five years of pure fun. For us, it's not a big deal to score minimum passing marks, percentile matters only in the last year and one week study is more than enough to score a first class. This was the reason we indulged more into other activities like organizing festivals and various events, taking part in script/skit writing, discussing guys (lol) and any other activity which could help us stay in college from morning to evening.

I have very fond memories of Sydenham. I remember watching so many cricket matches in Canteen, staring at S who used to be a football player and crush of most of us :P, having 7-8 cups of chai (that's quite normal, during exams, I never even counted the number of cups!), solving crosswords, preparing posters and doing so many other useful and useless things.

Sydenham canteen is very famous for the Chinese food we get there; typical Indian Chinese (which tastes a lot better than an authentic one!). Every single day I survived on Schezwan rice or veg/chicken chilly dry with bread slices. Even students and professors from other colleges came to Sydenham canteen to eat. For years and years down the line and even today, the taste still remains the same.

Today, I teach students. When I come across a Sydenhamite, I cannot stop myself from asking that student questions about the college, canteen, people, events, festivals, alumnis, magazines and ten other things. This is not the case only with me. Pick any Sydenhamite from my list, and you will see them going crazy about it the same way! We are too connected with it. Maybe everyone is with one's college; but Sydenhamites are a bit crazier than others. You can get anything done from them in the name of Sydenham and they will do that with a broad smile on their face. And it will not be considered foolish :)

We all use this tag-line for ourselves - Once a Sydenhamite, always a Sydenhamite!

PS: I can in fact write 10 posts on my love for Sydenham and not get tired. But I will spare you guys. :)

What's in a name?

No I am not a Shakespeare junkie like many people close to me are. I never even tried to read him. I can be too biased at times. Or maybe I am biased when it comes to Shakespeare as his statement "What's in a name" according to me is not a wise thing to say :P

I have my own reasons to believe so. My name is way too common. You call out Neha and 6 out of 10 girls will turn around. Out of remaining four, three will be Poojas! In my phone book, I have 8 Nehas stored. I sometimes get confused too about their identity. I forget their faces and cannot recollect them when they call me. I have to talk to them for 5 minutes to actually recognize which Neha called me! I am sure this must be happening with you as well.

Worst thing: When someone does not have my number stored and I happen to call up that person, I literally have to remind them about my past encounters with them as unfortunately, my surname is too common as well! My college had 3 Nehas with the same surname.

I so feel like whacking the person whoever says what's in a name. Damn, have my name and you will know what's in a name. The only advantage I have with my name is that every second client I meet has a daughter/sister/mother/wife/niece/any other relative whose name is Neha. I usually crack that deal. But I am capable enough to crack it otherwise too people! It is not a "wow" thing for me when you say that I am your xyz's namesake!

I know people who love this name. My neighbour Uncle is very fond of me. He named his Russian daughter in law Neha because of that reason. She is the 4th one in my building!

But one thing is there. After seeing the image below, Shakespeare would have changed his statement for sure!

The finicky me!

"I don't have a heart" - my mother usually says this to me. Well, this statement is made when she does not have anything else to say about my "logical" reasoning :P. My mom loves to win the argument against me, but she seldom succeeds. Well, that's altogether another story and post.

I have this habit of analyzing people and thing around me. I love to know them, observe about them, their behaviour in different situation, their reactions to certain things, their love and hate for the same thing at different time, the list goes on and on. Now I don't only observe people, but I even try to find logic behind their behaviour and reactions. And no, I am not vella in life, I love to do it. This answers why I usually win argument against my mom - I KNOW her well, rather more than she knows herself :P

And I have my weird traits too. More than one!

Last evening, I was talking to a friend of mine. He is going out of town for a business meeting. Now, when it comes to packing, I can be VERY irritating about the cross checking part. I check and recheck each and everything at least ten times. Clothes, extra clothes, brush, comb, deo, perfume, facewash, towel (yes, I carry that too :P), torch, charger, plastic cards, book and fifty other things. I do not keep anything to be packed the next day. I have a separate toothbrush and toothpaste kit for travel. Coming back to my friend, I controlled myself a lot not to keep poking him with my mindless questions about packing. But he kept probing me about what he should be packing. I sent him 2 smses late night and early morning about reminders of what he should be taking which he maybe likely to forget!

That's his story. But people who are travelling with me get so very irritated with my constant nagging about such things. I keep thinking about what I have packed and what I forgot till the time I return home. Yes, as the packing part does not end once I leave for the trip. When I am staying somewhere, and a day before the check out, I am again the finicky self, looking for stuff in all possible places, opening each drawer 5-6 times - PHEW!! I would not have tolerated myself for such a thing!

Second thing that triggers my panic button is extra clean rooms! I cannot stand that. I feel sick and get the hospital room feeling when I see clean rooms. A couple of years back, I went to Pune with a friend. She is a cleanliness freak. Her wardrobe is also arranged in colour coordinated manner! We stayed together for five days and only we know how it was for both of us. She even arranged my stuff thanks to her weirdity, and I kept creating a bit of mess here and there!

There are many more weird traits in me. But more on that, later :)

Childhood Musings

Does it happen with you when you read a post by a fellow blogger, you remember something similar, or you want to blog about the same subject too expressing your views about that topic? It happens with me all the times. Most of the times, I rant on their blogs and use the comment form for my post, or simply write a post on my blog. Today is one of such times.

Last week, Kavi wrote a post about Harihareshwar and that post reminded me of my childhood I spent at Umbergaon. I mailed him a few pictures of that place. But my fingers itched to type out the memories and publish them here. Though in my various posts, I have mentioned about my childhood and Umbergaon, but when my childhood friend Jigisha shared an album with me, I immediately smsed her to take her permission so that I could share those images on my blog.

Umbergaon is a small town located near Gujarat Maharashtra border. Not too crowded town with majority Gujarati population, it welcomes you with a warm village feeling minus the huts. Huts are there too, quite a few of them in the interiors of this small town. But rest of the things remain the same. Narrow lanes, kachi sadak (dirt road), wells, temples at every 100 yards, rangoli outside every house, neighbours talking to each other while cooking or working and such. each and every person has time to at least wish you good morning. Almost everyone knows everyone. 

I spent my childhood there. I was born to my parents, but was brought up by the neighbours. Now, that's how it works there. My parents have parented so many kids too but their own. My brother and I even had our meals with neighbours. And it was considered very normal.

This was the bungalow with five houses where I was brought up. It is just the half portion that you can see. The other half was demolished when this picture was clicked. Now it is fully demolished. My house is very much there, right opposite to it; but for me, this was home. And I will always miss it as my entire childhood was spent here. These poles witnessed so many games played by us. Old people sat on that bench in the far corner in the evening. My first ever friend stayed in the house you can see now. All the houses had swings.

This is my school. The ground that you can see, it was our volleyball ground. There are corridors on the both sides of the main gates. That's where I usually stayed during school time. I never did my homework, and my usual punishment was to stand outside the classroom. But well, it still never changed anything. There was not a single day on which I must have done my homework.

On the left hand side of the volleyball ground, we had our drawing class, which is of course not visible in this picture. I loved to paint and I always managed to score pretty decent in the subject. Another advantage I had was that my mama (maternal uncle) stayed bang opposite to my school. Many times, I went there for lunch or just to show off at the time of lunch break. People envied me as I got to eat hot and fresh lunch. Ah, I have always been a show off :P

Now comes the most beautiful part of the town - the beach. Umbergaon has a wonderful beach. And it is right behind my school. Each day, we enjoyed the beach view from our classroom windows. In the picture above, you can spot the photographer and another girl who was brought up by me. She is my first friend's cousin. That's how it goes.

Ah, I miss this place. It's been 12 years since I shifted to Mumbai. I love this city and those who read me regularly know that very well. But somewhere deep inside me, I am still a small town girl. Given a choice, I will settle in one of the small towns of India. Umbergaon is definitely an option, but most of the places with which my memories are associated are no longer there or even if they are there, they are modified or renovated. But still, it is an option. Maybe when I retire (if at all I do! I am a workaholic!), I will settle in one of the small towns. Do I have any company in my neighbourhood? Any bloggers? :)

I am tired

I am tired

Tired of the words they say

They please you, they praise you, they win your heart

They admire you all the time, making you blind;

They make sure you trust them from the start.

I am tired

Tired of the games they play

They catch you, they push you, they rip you apart

you lose faith, you lose friends, you lose it all you have

They leave you all alone, with a broken heart

I am tired

Tired of the things they do

they stab you in your back and come to console you

They command you, they possess you

you are left at their mercy, they have the last laugh.

You are all alone, nowhere to go

You cannot run, you cannot hide

they make sure you are not even left with the option to die

you are in total darkness, scared of yourself

they have won! won the game they played

Yes I am tired

Tired of losing all over again..

On the other side of the table

I am enjoying teaching. I teach three different subjects to undergraduates who are either pursuing their bachelor degree in commerce or appearing for professional exams. The subjects I teach are Business law, Business Communication and Management. The most interesting of all is Business Communication where I get to give all the gyaan that I have about English language, Effective communication, how to write an essay, how to avoid using jargon and how to use your vocabulary in the best possible manner. 

Today's lecture was about essay writing. Now, last night I happened to have a conversation with a blogger - NH, who is in the same batch as a few of my students. When I told her that I was taking a lecture at 8 am on a Sunday morning, she gave me an insight to a student's mind (well, I was a student of this age too errrrrr 10 years back :P). Her accusations on "my kinds" were:

"Why do professors always spoil students' weekend?"

"Can you explain why such outrageous timings on a Sunday morning! students par anyaay"

"Ah, even I have to get up early, travel for an hour to reach there and give a lecture for 2 hours on how to write an essay!" - this was my explanation to her as I couldn't have said that I understood her point. After all, I am now on the other side of the table where I have to be "cruel" :P

When I entered the classroom, each and every person was looking sleepy and dreamy. If it would have been a law lecture, I am sure all of them would have zonked out in 5 minutes flat! But the topic was about how to write an essay - a fun topic as the subject matter I chose for them was "Social Networking Sites" - something all of them (and us too) love. My first question to them was - "Do you guys know what is a Blog?"

To be honest, I was not expecting any of them to give me the exact picture as there are very few teenage bloggers around. But one student did know what blogs were and what blogging was all about. When I asked him whether he reads blogs, he said, "Only celebrities blog!"

Now I did not know whether to feel proud or offended about this statement; but I did not tell him that I blog as well! In the train too, two ladies were discussing blogs. They were talking about what kind of blogs they prefer to read. According to them, personal blogs are boring. How youngsters only rant on personal blogs - about their job, life, husband and wife, friends, lover, food, traffic, travel and every possible thing! 

It's always interesting to know what others think of this blogging world. Actually, for me it's always interesting to know what people think about even smallest of the things. I have heard so many opinions about lawyers, bloggers, students and now professors. Standing on a stage addressing on a particular issue to students who may start looking upto you if they can relate to you. You are standing at a place which you always respected when you were on the other side of the table. Pardon me if I am sounding conceited, but this is what I always wanted to do; well apart from 10 other things in my professional life :P.

Here is a small incentive of being a Professor that brings a smile on my face each time I see it:

About festivals and Kids

It's festive season all around Maharashtra. At least in Mumbai, people are celebrating. Loud music is playing at every corner. An NRI friend called me and became so damn nostalgic after hearing the loud music that he didn't even realize that he was on phone with me! But well, I can give him that liberty when he is already missing the Ganesh Utsav in Mumbai. 

I visited a few friends' too who had Ganeshji at their places. It's always amusing to see the decorations, enthusiasm and spirit of Indians when it comes to celebrating any festival. This time around, Ganesh Chaturthi, Eid and Jain festival (Paryushan) fell on the same day. Each and every corner of the city was decorated with lights, there were smiles everywhere and no rains. Now, it's difficult not to feel happy in such a festive mood. Yes, the heavy rains, gloomy weather and bad mood turned all happy happy thanks to the festivals.

But the happiest and most enthusiastic person is my niece. She is too young to even know the difference between human and God, but still, each time the music plays, both her hands go in the air, and each time Aarti starts in the neighbourhood, she starts clapping. If she sees Ganeshji, or any other God, she lowers her head and folds her hands. She does the same when we switch on the lights. None of these has been taught to her. She does it after observing people. This has made all of us very careful. We make sure we do not shout at anybody or or use bad words (we anyway do not use bad words, but we do not even use the words idiot and stupid), we talk to her about everything and she even understands quite a few things! Phew!! Kids today are damn smart!

But my mother has taken her "understanding" to a different level altogether. My niece is now a days hooked to some TV serial called Utaran (pardon the spelling mistake, if any!). She becomes so very happy the moment she hears "kya hoti utaran"! I didn't know what to do about it, so I got her hooked to wavin' flag by K Naan :P She even enjoys CID (which I love watching) and Cricket. She is not an avid viewer of TV though. She watches it for a few seconds. If she smiles, that means she likes it, if she throws tantrums for no reason whatsoever, it means that you are supposed to switch off the television as she does not like the sound of whatever is playing!

Any age group, kids are very smart these days. I happened to visit a mall a few days back. There were many rides like train, horses, cars and such rides, but the maximum crowd was near the bungee jumping board for kids. Kids were going mad there. First they were crying for their turn, and then they were crying to come down. I made a friend click a few photographs of that place. I use a non-blackberry business phone with no flash in the camera. Thus I had to ask him to click those snaps :)

Above: the empty train and Below: the empty horse ride

Ah, the kids gaming zone had the heart game too. Aim and win :D

Toddlers also wanted to bungee jump :)

Monsoon Effect

How strange it seems when your mood changes as per the weather. If you live in Mumbai, you will surely be able to relate with me. Last ten days have been really gloomy for most of the Mumbaites thanks to the rains. There is traffic, mud and darkness all around you. Even if you love showers, you will for sure feel depressed in this weather. The sun plays hide and seek more often these days. A bight and sunny afternoon turns lifeless within seconds, making you feel low and depressed. But, as they say, in Mumbai, we do not even have time to notice our own mood shifts. We tweet about bad weather and move on to doing our regular stuff, but it does affect us. The mood is snappy, or quiet or irritated all the time.

Yes you guessed it right. I am in a not so good mood. Weather is playing a big part in my mood to be honest. Thanks to my profession, I have work in extremities. Either I am working the whole day and night and still have a lot of work pending, or I am busy doing nothing at all, which includes occasional spans of lazying around and talking to 2-3 close friends on gtalk. I even enjoy reading blogs. I read a lot, but when it comes to commenting, I comment only when I have anything to add to the post. This reminds me of something I have been pondering upon for quite some time.

I am close friends with a few bloggers who happen to be very popular on blogsphere. They are I, S and G. Now, all of us read and comment on the posts we feel are good. We do not comment for the sake of it or to receive those comments back. But everyone cannot be so good as us right? It will be crazily insane (if such a term exists) to expect anybody to be like us. So, the best way out is ignorance. We ignore those comments which ask us to comment back on their blogs, we even ignore mails and tweets from such people. It will happen as it's a part of this blogworld right?

Ah, this post is turning out to be more of a cribbing post. But you cannot help but to crib thanks to the dull weather. There is no light outside my window. Thanks to the ongoing repair work at my place, we all are sitting in one room, thanks to the unexpected showers once in a while, we are surrounded by clothes drying around us, furniture scattered everywhere and my niece is not keeping well too. Ah, the weather has got into all of us it seems.

Enough of sad things already I guess. Ganesh Utsav starts from tomorrow. Many of my friends and neighbours have Ganeshji at their places. Thus Sunday is going to be the day for paying a visit to their place. I am kind of looking forward to it. It always feels nice to meet old friends who are busy in their lives once in a year. Luckily, the festival is falling over the weekend. Thus everyone will meet at the same time. This will even mean more pollution and traffic, but well, as they say, God is exempted from everything. I am even invited at my Muslim friends' place to celebrate the occasion of eid. An eventful weekend to look forward to this time around. If I happen to click images there, then will share on this blog. But for now, enjoy a few random clicks:

Monsoon effect at Andheri Link Road

Almost everywhere on the roads,this is a common scene

Work never stops. With or without umbrella

Even with a plastic bag on the head for that matter

A scene at a Government office at Bandra

Somewhere on the Western Express Highway

Being a Teacher

Back in school, teachers' day for us was like a chocolate day. Apart from birthdays of any classmate, the only other time chocolates were distributed in the classroom was on Teachers' Day. I remember directing plays each year for our teachers, I even participated once in a play at the time of Annual Day, but that's a different story (rather a post) altogether. 

In school, we treated each teacher at par, greeting each of them - whether they taught us or not. I lived in a small town, where everybody knew everybody. A smallest of misconduct and your parents would know even before you reach home. Thus occasions like Teachers' Day, Independence Day, Annual Day etc. were the times when I tried my level best to be in their good books so that my "not doing homework" routine was taken care of within school premises itself. I was too lazy in this case by the way. 4 days a week I spent outside my class or outside staff room as I never did my homework. But well, I was an intelligent student (ahem!) and managed to secure second rank each year (ahem ahem :P), so most of my teachers just gave me "not so severe" punishments like throwing me out of class for 15 odd minutes or speak with Vice Principal and take his permission for attending the lecture, or write the homework three/five times (ah, they were always so hopeful :P) and such; but nothing worked. 

School life got over and college life began. Different city, different environment and different attitude. In the five years of my college life, I hardly knew a few professors. I rarely attended, second rank was forgotten long back. Passing the year was the only target. I didn't even study for my 12th board exams as I knew I would not change my college, thus scoring never mattered there. But somehow, Teachers' Day was never forgotten. I used to wish my school teachers, couple of professors in college and classes I attended. Ah, call it the "school effect", but I did believe in this day a lot.

Change in the scene yet again. Now I was working and no college for a year as I didn't know what to take up as a career option. Actually, there was M Com for which I had enrolled; but it was purely to be a part of my college for two more years. Now, to be honest, I have no idea why I decided to take admission in a law college, but well, you can say that Law happened to me out of nowhere. No inspiration, no family background, no interest and no knowledge whatsoever, but I was doing law. The scenario more or less remained the same when it came to attending lectures. Here again, even though I knew the names of three main professors (there were more, which I learnt in the last year :P), out of the three, two loathed me due to various reasons. But they passed me each time in internals. 

Now I am doing my masters in law. I do attend more regularly than I had ever attended in college. I do have a professor whom I really respect and I wished her first thing in the morning. But this Teachers' Day was special as I was wished too. Yes, I am a professor now and my students wished me "Happy Teachers' Day". To be honest, I wanted them to wish me and I was hoping that they do. The moment I entered the classroom, they greeted me with the wish. It was an overwhelming experience. I know it will sound stupid to many of you, as this is not something one should go ga ga over or flaunt so much. But to me, it really mattered as it was a kind of respect that I got and that usually matters to me more than the "other" benefits of teaching. 

In the evening, I went to Tea Centre where we spotted a small group of a few junior college students and two professors enjoying tea and snacks. It felt wonderful to see them together celebrating one of the most special days for them at this stage. I do not believe that college life is all about celebrating valentines day and rose day, chocolate day and traditional day. There are other occasions too. And no, I have not realized the importance of this day after becoming a professor. I wrote a post on this day last year around too. It has always been important to me and I will try and make it all the more important.

We all have favourite teachers at some point in time. I have one too, Professor Chandrakant Saave, my math professor in school. I always looked upto him. He was a very strict professor, but never with me as I was his favourite student. I still remember him well though we have not been in touch with each other. He was made my school principal a few years ago and now retired. But I will soon go and meet him. It's been on my wishlist for quite some time now. And I hope to meet him soon.

Blogging with Boundaries

Last week, I read a post Code of ethics for Blogger written by Saroj, one of the most prolific bloggers. I started to write a comment on her post, which got way too long; thus decided to mail the same to her. But I kept thinking about the whole post - thus this one.

As the title of her post suggests, she wrote about whether one should write opinions freely on blog or not, or there should be some code of ethics to be followed while writing a blog post or commenting on a blog. She even mentioned about how people stay anonymous so that they can freely express their opinions about personal as well as professional life on their blogs without getting judged by people in their professional circle.

Now this got me thinking. The first question was - why do we blog? Talking about personal blog strictly, we blog to express our opinions, or to share what we experience, or to vent out and rant about various things happening around us and such. Apart from these reasons I (and few of you) write about people as well. If you read me regularly, you would know that I have written quite a few posts on people, bloggers and pseudonymous blog identities. But my intention behind writing those posts is never to hurt anybody. I merely express my views there. I do get replies too - a contradicting one from bloggers who disagree with me. They even write a post as a reply to me or a bashing one :P. But it's all done in a fun way. We enjoy this game of bashing being played on our respective blogs.

This again brings me back to the topic of blogging ethics. Saroj and a few of her readers in the comment form mentioned about people being fired from their jobs due to what they wrote on their blogs or updated as their status on social sites like facebook and twitter. Now, ain't these sites supposed to be a part of our personal life? Firing a person because he insulted you in 140 characters is a bit harsh on the employee. But I may react the same way if I were the boss. Well, you may never know!

It is fine to blog about your thoughts (even WITH your real name), but I feel it is wrong to defame somebody. Especially when that somebody happens to be in the position of power to fire you from your job. As they say, bosses do not have a sense of humour. In fact, I have had a similar experience a few days back when a blogger misquoted me and then denied doing so completely. She had copied lines from my post and said that she never aimed that post at me. Well, blog about me - I do not mind. But my problem was with the interpretation that she made of the meaning behind my post.

I write about blogs, bloggers and people only when I know what I am talking about. I make sure I do not hurt the sentiments of people. If people are extra sensitive and they feel bad about my post which is never aimed at a specific person, then well, God can only help you! But once you blog about something, then I somehow feel that you should not delete it. After all, you write what you feel about a particular issue or a situation or a person. It is your personal opinion and you should respect it first.

The post is too heavy already I guess. Kavita, a blog friend asked me whether I am planning to write a fiction or not. Well buddy, I do not usually prefer to scare people with my write ups. But I will for sure try and write one soon (don't promise when). 

Classic Mistake

Classics - when you hear this word, don't you remember all those things which may have become old but they still remain fresh in your memory? Yes, we call them classics. The word "Classic" is a kind of honour you give to a particular thing, person or even a song for that matter. You spot a separate section for classic stuff in stores as well; and you can always find me there :P

I love old hindi songs. My friends even call me an oldie by heart as I sing such songs at any time and any place and not only when I am drunk. When we have a karaoke party, or singing songs when we have the mood, or play them while travelling - I prefer old sad songs and they hate them at least when we are going on long drives and spirits are high! :Sigh: 

Call me oldie, or a typical desi by taste - I somehow cannot bring myself to listen to "popular" songs because others like them. A few months back, somebody happened to ask me whether I like Justin Bieber (Hope I have spelt it right) or not. And I was clueless about who he was. He was the trending topic on twitter at that time, but I was not so curious to know who he was. She was pretty shocked when I told her that I didn't know who he was, maybe someone unimportant who is not worth knowing. I am sure she must have screamed on the other side of the computer as her reply to me was pretty much rude and hurt. She said that he was the ultimate teenage sensation and the hottest looking singer she'd ever seen! "Hello, I am not a 'crazy for Bieber' teenager my darling". After that reply, I have not seen her on my timeline. She blocked me I guess.

Now, I do listen to John Denver, Billy Joel, Cliff Richard, MLTR, Air Supply etc. too; but Gulzar songs are always my first preference when it comes to listening to music. Same is the case in case of movies. And serials too - I love CID classics! But when it comes to reading books, I prefer thrillers over classics. I have read Jane Austen, Gabriel García Márquez, Ayn Rand (all time favourite) and a few more authors, but the meaning of classic novels and classic authors is changing. Don't believe me? Then take a look at the picture below:

The thee mistakes of my life by Chetan Bhagat makes its way to the "classic" section of Crossword. Hmmm, interesting right? I guess, books like Gone With the Wind, or Pride and Prejudice have walked out of this section themselves as i did not find them anywhere even near the classic section. Not that I needed them, but still, somehow I am used to see those typical books on the shelf with "classic" label.

Reason behind this post - This happens with me a lot of times since the time I have started blogging. Whenever I spot something interesting, I want to share it on my blog. My mind starts thinking about the topic to write on so that I can add the interesting bit in that post and share. No, not for maximum hits, but I like to go back to my old post and read what I wrote then and what was going on in my mind. It kind of helps me to realize many things about me. If I write something when my mood is bad, I realize the kind of flow my post reflects. The subtle humour reminds me that on a particular day, I was happy. I don't know whether it happens with all of you or some of you or I am the only weirdo around, but this is the major reason I like to write about things around me. They get me thinking most of the times. I start looking at them differently - from a writer's point of view. No I do not and cannot become poetic as I am pathetic at it, but yes, they do make me a bit creative.

Does this happen with you as well? What inspires you to write your blog posts? Things, people, mood swings or just another habit?

Belief and Destiny

Today, I met a very close friend of mine after two months. Now, it may not be a long period for not having met your friend, but for us, it was indeed the longest period since we met last. From first year of commerce college to last year of law school, we used to meet almost everyday and spend at least five to six hours talking about various things. The strange thing was that we never exactly knew what we spoke so much about. Our discussions varied from intellectual to philosophical about opinions and mindsets of people, from academic during exams to mutual admiration ones about how we cleared without studying a word, from lame movie to an interesting book -  we discussed almost everything without getting bored even for a second or without realizing how time passed by.

This went on till 2007, when we were relatively vella in life. After becoming lawyers on paper, we settled in our respective professions - I joined a law firm, and he a hypnotherapy institution. But we still managed to meet and talk almost everyday. When I actually count the number of years I have spent in college, it surprises me and I am sure it will make many of you jealous too. I have enjoyed 11 years as a college student and 12th year is still going on. In these 11 years, I have completed my bachelor degree in commerce and law, master degree in commerce and first year of master degree in law. PHEW, I am a double graduate and almost a double post graduate. I do deserve to enjoy so many years as a college students!

Enough of boasting for one post I guess. Coming back to my friend and our discussions - give us one word, and we can spend days talking about it. And mind you, not those boring, mindless and pointless discussions; but profound, philosophical, sensible and fruitful discussions. To an extent that my friend came up with a website and a book on it. The topic was - Destiny. We must have spent at least two to three months discussing about this one topic. I would have killed him if he had not put those discussions in use.

Many of us think about Destiny. The question starts with - whether you believe in destiny or not. Now again, destiny is like God. It is there if you believe in it and it is not there if you don't. an atheist does not die earlier than the believer of the god, nor a non-believer of Destiny remains poor. Long discussions, a lot of research on the subject, case studies, books, interviews of experts and referring to every possible source available to us (read google), we came to the conclusion that Destiny indeed exists. but not in each and everything around us. There are certain things which are within our control, while certain things are beyond our control. But the function of Destiny does not depend on our capability of doing or not doing something. If we are destined to get something, we get it no matter whether we deserve it or not. 

Now, this theory was not making sense to us at all. We all know that life does not have an "undo" button. We have even experienced that whenever we are determined to do or achieve something, we do so successfully. Then what role does Destiny play here? The next theory was - Belief. We can get anything and everything in life if we strongly believe in it. Sounds illogical? OK, how many times it has happened with us that we wanted something; that something was too small to remember, so we wished for it and forgot all about it. But our subconscious mind registers such things. I will not go into detail; but when we got that thing, that time we suddenly remember that we did wish for it once and now we have it. Have you ever thought about why we got it? We got it as we believed that we would get it. In our mind, not even once the thought of "not getting it" came, there were no negative thoughts whatsoever about it. But our belief was there all along; without our knowledge. Thus, it's ours now. Things we need very badly - we may get them or we may not get them. The reason is simple. We keep thinking about those things - usually negative thoughts. If the force of negative thoughts is greater along with less efforts, we do not get them; but positive thoughts with less efforts - and it's yours :)

Most of us confuse the function of Belief with the outcome of Destiny. According to me, there are only three things which are destined - Birth, Death and Marriage - as these three things result into a birth of new being. Birth - as you are born, Marriage - as a new life is born and Death - as the moment you die, you become a part of soon to be born being; the kid in a female's womb - the day she conceives it and not the day it is born. It can be in a human or non human form, but it does have a life.

But there are couples who remain childless - one may argue that. Thus we cannot say that marriages result into a birth of new being. But there again, the belief system plays its part. And it's proven. Now now, how does that work, how to make it work etc. questions we can take care of, but not on the blog. There are different ways, different therapies and treatments that help you get your belief system in place, to make you realize how you can achieve something you have worked for. But it is not my area of expertise. I know a little bit about these things as I have spent days and years discussing such subjects, what we call in general term - philosophical topics. But philosophy can be interesting for those who learn it. As for you readers, if you are reading this line after reading the whole post, then either you liked whatever I have written (even a bit will do) or you are an avid reader who can read anything and everything that's in front of him/her :)

I wish opinion was not for free!

My current facebook status message says:

The ability to speak does not make you intelligent!

And this got me thinking. This is not the first time I have updated a normal status message that people have made controversial, an ego issue or taken personally. Well, I am quite used to it by now; bu don't you think I am entitled to my opinion?

The status message point is a small one. In fact I quite enjoy the comments I get on those - they are witty, provoking, irritating, aggressive as well as interesting. Each one expresses one's own opinion. That's democracy right? Then why are we questioned for updating what we want to?

We all express our opinion different ways. sometimes through status messages, sometimes through a post and sometimes through comments. But these days we mistake opinion with bashing. I am merely a year and a half old on blogger, but it is a well known fact around blogsphere that if you write a post about your opinion, people will take it personally and bash you left-right-center.

The irony is that many people do not even bother to read what you have written! They will read the first few lines, last few lines and couple of comments; that's all. and they fight with you for the point you have not even mentioned indirectly or minutely!

I can link ten such posts here - mine as well as others' - whereby the author has been given free advice he/she never even asked for. But this place is purely for the purpose of expressing my opinions and thoughts, rather than giving free publicity to anybody.

Most of the times, people give their opinion on about something which is not their genre or field. I blog because I want your feedback; I blog because I am ready to take appreciation as well as criticism; but I do not blog to take your frustration. If you do not like my post; either you should not leave a comment there or unleash your anger on your blog rather than provoking my regular readers or shooing them away! And yes, unleash it in style, rather than misquoting me just to get publicity or make your own blog famous at the cost of my name! (It has happened with me!)

There are times when people comment negative on others' post and blast them in the case where either their ego is hurt due to the brutal honesty published by the author; or they are guilty of the crime. If you fit into none of these categories; then simply comment why you agree or disagree. You have no right to comment on one's credibility at all.

And those personal comments! People do not like personal questions being asked to them; but some will always try to know what are your vacation plans, how many kids you have, when did you have a break up etc. all. Give us a break guys. If I want the whole world to know that I am going to Switzerland for my honeymoon, then I will specifically mention it. When I am keeping mum about it, it simply means that I do not want you to know that!

Now after reading this post; they will say why do I blog if I cannot tolerate their comments? Well, this post is not about me at all. It is my general observation. By grace of God, I have been blessed with wonderful readers who read my blog and leave a "normal" comment. But I know a few people who write normal stuff, but they get s#!t comments on their simple posts.

I wish bloggers would at least read the post first rather than reading first or last line only. What do you think about those?

PS: Hope you guys do read this post entirely rather than reading this post script first and then the last paragraph. I would like to know your views about the entire topic and not merely on the last paragraph.

Reforms in Family Law Part 4

Prevention of Dowry System 

 

Dowry is a social evil that ruins two families. Where Dowry is demanded, endless conflict starts between the parties and ends with death of the bride or divorce or unhappy married life. Almost all the persons play double role, a father of a bride, searching for bridegroom for his daughter, has different thoughts from the father of bridegroom and feels that dowry is the biggest disease. Contrary to this, the father of bridegroom thinks in different sense, and has a tendency to have maximum Dowry. This is a highly social problem. To solve this, we made it an offense in 1961 and thereafter drastic change in 1983 took place by amending the Indian Penal Code (IPC) and Indian Evidence Act to deal with dowry death and cruelty by husband and his relatives by Criminal Law Amendment Act, 1983.

The Dowry Prohibition Act of 1961 says that any person who gives, takes, or abets the giving or taking of dowry shall be punished with imprisonment, which may extend to six months or with fine up to Rs. 5,000 or with both. Dowry that started off as a practice to give away presents to the departing daughter, usually some resources to begin her new married life, slowly assumed extraordinary proportions and turned into a social evil. Brides were expected to bring the "gifts" regardless of their personal willingness. The bride's family could no longer have an individual say; lists were prepared and sent to the girl's house before the final agreement between the two families. The condition being that the boy would marry the girl only if the demands were met. Such a custom is being practiced not only in India but also in other countries like Bangladesh and Nepal. The reason behind this custom is the poor economical condition of the people along with a lack of education; unawareness of legal rights among women and a general bias against the women.

Crimes like rape, kidnapping, eve teasing and indecent exposure can be grouped as crimes against women. Rape is the worst crime against women after murder and the maximum punishment under the IPC is life imprisonment. An abortion or miscarriage due to natural causes is not an offense. Therefore, the law does not deal with it. However, violent and forceful abortion is a crime. Sections 312 and 316 of the Indian Penal Code deal with abortion as crime. Section 313 deals with abortion without the consent of the woman. The punishment could even be life imprisonment.

The Hindu Succession Act gives male and female heirs almost equal right to inheritance. Section 14 says that any property possessed by a female Hindu shall be held by her as full owner and not as a limited owner.

Reforms in Family Law Part 3

Abolition of Polygamy

Before independence, polygamy existed in all the corners of India, whereas it was an offense punishable under Section 494 of IPC, except due to applicability of the customs. In India, law of marriage is governed by the personal laws. The Muslim law restricted it to four marriages at the time, where there was no any restriction under other personal laws. Christian Marriage Act, 1872, Parsis were restricted and made punishable under Section 494 of IPC, by Section 52 of Parsi Marriage Act and Divorce Act, 1936, and Hindus were restricted to one marriage by section 5 of Hindu Marriage Act, 1955. Similar restriction is imposed by Section 4 of Special Marriage Act, 1954. Presently, this is the big problem indicated by the Hon’ble Supreme Court in  Sarala Mudgal's case. It issued some directions to the Government of India to frame Uniform Civil Code under Article 44 of the Constitution. Unfortunately, the Government has not taken any step.

Section 494 of IPC clearly states that Whoever, having a husband or wife living, marries in any case in which such marriage is void by reason of its taking place during the life of such husband or wife, shall be punished with imprisonment of either description for a term which may extend to seven years, and shall also be liable to fine.

Exception - This section does not extend to any person whose marriage with such husband or wife has been declare void by a Court of competent jurisdiction, nor to any person who contracts a marriage during the life of a former husband or wife, if such husband or wife, at the time of the subsequent marriage, shall have been continually absent from such person for the space of seven years, and shall not have been heard of by such person as being alive within that time provided the person contracting such subsequent marriage shall, before such marriage takes place, inform the person with whom such marriage is contracted of the real state of facts so far as the same are within his or her knowledge.

About Names and show off

People! Just this word makes me wonder - there are so many different types of them around me. Few crazy, few abnormal, few psycho and a few weird; but none - normal. Now before you guys feel offended about not being called normal, well, face it guys. Are you 100% normal as per my definition of being "Normal"? No, you ain't!

I have written about people much more than I have written about myself. I love to observe them, their various traits and write about the most interesting ones on my blog. My intentions are never to offend anyone. I write simply as they amuse me. And whenever go back to my old posts, to read them or just to refresh a few memories, such posts always bring a smile on my face.

Some time back, I came across a very interesting kind of people. These people shorten your name no matter what. A friend of mine, Amrita, she has this habit. My name is pretty short - Neha. She will still call me Ne, or N or Nehu, but not Neha! I am sure many of you with long names would be having plenty of such short names given by people.

I, on the other hand never prefer to mess up (?) a name. No matter how long a name is or how irritating it may sound, I will address that person by his/her original name only, even if that person is really close to me. of course there are exceptions, like some friends were introduced to me by their shortened name and I got to know their real name pretty much late, but that's fine. I somehow feel that a person may not like it if I address him/her with the name other than one's original name! I think a lot!

A shortened name works fine with people you know. But sometimes strangers address you by shortened names! I know quite a few people around blogsphere who have this habit of shortening names. I even know those victims who hate such abbreviations of their names :P

Going completely off the track now as I want to show off a bit. I am going to teach from tomorrow onwards. I have to teach Business Law to B. Com., BMS and CA PE 1 students. Their syllabus is more or less the same. I am nervous. Quite nervous. I am going to be taking my first ever lecture. I have always aspired to be a professor, and finally I am taking my first step. So yes, I am very very nervous. And people around me ain't helping me either. They keep telling me that I myself look like a kid, what will I teach to college students? Sigh! Friends!!

By the time, most of you read this post, my lecture would have been over. But I will let you know how it went anyway.

So people, back to what I started with - my name is pretty short. Don't make it Nehu please!!!

Reforms in Family Law Part 2

As promised, Part two of the post is here. To read part one, Click Here.

Restriction on Child Marriage

In our society, the marriage of the child was solemnized in his/her childhood. In fact, at the time of marriage spouses were not aware about the meaning of marriage. The Society has taken serious measures in order to reform this unprincipled custom by restricting the child marriage. Hindus, Christians and Parsis have introduced in their personnel laws that marriage of a boy below the age of 21 years and girl below the age of 18 years as not a valid marriage and hence it is voidable. Muslim law also provides that spouse at the time of marriage should be at puberty. The Government of India has restricted the child marriage and enacted Child Marriage Restraint Act, 1929, which considers the act of child marriage as an offense and hence punishable.

According to the provisions of the Act, a child means a person who, if a male, has not completed 21 years of age, and if a female, has not completed 18 years of age. In 1978, certain amendments have been made in the Act, through which the definition of child was redefined, some offenses were made cognizable and further provisions were made for such offense to be tried by the Metropolitan Magistrate or Judicial Magistrate of First Class.

Thus, The Child Marriage (Restraint) Act (CMRA) was enacted in 1929 to prevent the customary practice of child marriage. According to the CMRA’s statements of objects and reasons, the main purpose of this law is to create a check on population growth as it would result in a lower fertility rate, since it reduces the time period of marriages. It was also passed to eliminate potential dangers to the life and health of female children, who cannot withstand the stress and strains of married life, and to avoid early deaths of minor mothers. According to the provisions of this Act, a child marriage is a marriage wherein either of the contracting parties is a child. However, the criminal provisions of this Act do not apply to children.

Some of the significant provisions of the Act are listed herein under:

Section 3: Punishment for male adult below twenty one years of age marrying a child –

Whoever, being a male above eighteen years of age and below twenty one, contracts a child marriage shall be punishable with simple imprisonment which may extend to fifteen days, or with fine which may extend to one thousand rupees, or with both.

Section 4: Punishment for male adult above twenty one years of age marrying a child –

Whoever, being a male above twenty one years of age, contracts a child marriage shall be punishable with simple imprisonment which may extend to three months and shall also be liable to fine.

Section 5: Punishment for solemnizing a child marriage –

Whoever performs, conducts or directs any child marriage shall be punishable with simple imprisonment which may extend to three months and shall also be liable to fine unless he proves that he had reason to believe that the marriage was not a child -marriage.

Section 6: Punishment for parent or guardian concerned in a child marriage –

(1) Where a minor contracts a child marriage, any person having charge of the minor, whether as parent or guardian or in any other capacity, lawful or unlawful, who does any act to promote the marriage or permits it to be solemnised, or negligently fails to prevent it from being solemnised, shall be punishable with simple imprisonment which may extend to three months and shall also be liable to fine.

Provided no woman shall be punishable with imprisonment.

(2) For the purpose of this section, it shall be presumed unless and until the contrary is proved, that where a minor has contracted a child marriage, the person having charge of such minor has negligently failed to prevent marriage from being solemnized.


PS: Part Three is going to be about Polygamy. Stay tuned :)

Reforms in Family Law Part 1

This post is on a Legal topic. there is going to be a series of these posts. I will explain about one topic at a time so that it is easy for you to understand. There are total eleven such reforms and I am planning to cover them one at a time in each post. It is going to be useful to many. And for the rest, you know what to do right?

Judicial reforms are the need of the Day in the Country. And the Reforms in the Family courts are even more urgent. A person can continue living a normal life even if faced with criminal matter or been victim of crime in any fashion be it robbery or assault. However when faced with marital breakdown a persons life is put on hold till the verdict. Hence it is imperative that Marital Problem is given the highest priority and overhauling of system is important.

Judicial reforms is not about tinkering with a few process it needs overhaul in following direction

Change of Laws 

There are two many laws in the country against the husband in civil, criminal and quasi criminal arena which do not have standard procedures of normal laws applied to them examples are the Domestic Violence Act and the Section 498a. There are also multifarious laws for a same relief. There are five laws on maintenance for standard of living from a husband. This needs to change and complete gender equity, equality and fairness be brought about. The laws need to be harmonized and equalized by gender.

Change of Procedures, practices, presumptions and guidelines 

There are multiple procedures which tend to become procedural harassment of the husband and the family. This should change. The heavy procedure need to be lightened and made more litigant friendly. A key example is on handling cases where in a husband (wife) is from out of station. In such a case the standard practice should be to provide two or three continuous dates so that the out of station person can take leave etc. It has become a procedure for the cases to be transferred to the place of wife's liking. This should change and the convenience of a working person should be taken into consideration as there is far more stakeholders who need to be aligned for working spouse. To not allow more then 2 interim application would be useful guideline. There is a legal and social presumption which is best described by the Victim Women Criminal Men Syndrome which needs to change and it's time for the entire system to get out of this trap.

Change in the current Transparency on dates and estimated dates on the court cases.

In India getting a reservation or attending the courts at a short notice puts a burden on litigants and litigants are clearly interested in knowing when will I get my decision .It is imperative that within 2 months the courts provide a schedule of dates and activity that will be conducted so that the litigant is clearly aware of the stages and phases and prepare accordingly. The judiciary can very take the help of project management expertise of the Ex-litigants for this matter. SIFF (Save Indian Family Foundation) is willing to provide this expertise.

USE of the latest Technology

Involve litigants in defining the requirements of the computerization process.

Change in Attitude

The judiciary should not expect to be a great sermons speaking from Ivory tower. They should clearly be aware of the difference in Matrimonial relief like divorce or child custody. The shift in attitude for family related cases are more in the nature of I am here to resolve the disputes and allow the parties to live a happy life. Currently there is an attitude that is felt that one should use laws, procedure, guidelines, practices and spurious arguments everything against a husband seeking relief. 

******

Part two of the post will be published soon. Remind me please if I forget :P